Taking charge of the country’s largest auto maker is too big a deal not to visit in person. The President was so happy to own a 60% stake in GM that he had Air Force One do a barrel roll over the company’s headquarters.  Later he unveiled plans for the new Commander-in-Chief Caddy.  It’s green (of course), gives off very little emissions and runs on pixie dust and horse manure. Kind of like our economy.

Carry on, Citizens!

Thanks to Justin Bessler (again) for this week’s photo.

The first family visited Indy last week for the Indy 500.  In a nod to the White House’s preference for suspected tax cheats, Helio Castroneves won this year’s race. While in town, the Obama’s slipped into Broadripple and chowed on tenderloins -a Hoosier favorite.

Carry on, Citizens!

President Obama can’t be blamed for this one.  Turns out Michelle was showing off for some of her friends back in Chi-town where they had one too many apple martinis and decided to stick it to Cardinals fans by flying through the Arch. They even had a “Go Cubs!” banner tied to the back but it fell off somewhere near Decatur, IL. The pilot might have been a little buzzed too, as evidenced by the landing gear still being down.

Carry on, Citizens!

Thanks to Katie Jenkins for this week’s photo.

Carry on, Citizens!

NEWS:  The Air Force One photo op will be a regular feature every Friday at COC.  If you have a photo of Air Force One you would like to submit, please email us.  If we use your picture, we will give you credit and send you a free autographed copy of Kansaska or Trolley Dodgers.

This week’s photo was created by Justin Bessler using a Mac, Photoshop, and grain alchohol. Thanks Justin!

That’s why I laughed out loud when I read that Nigeria is “re-branding” to shed its corrupt image. Re-branding? Do you really think the slogan “Nigeria: Good People, Great Nation” is going to make me forget that your citizens scam Americans to the tune of $1 million per day?  Let’s face it, President Umaru Yar’Adua, Dateline Undercover is like American Idol for your citizens!

Hey Nigeria, how about ruthlessly pursuing those d-bags that keep sending me emails about the $20 million locked up in some hoaky bureaucratic red tape but I can have 15% of the cash if I send them my social security number, bank account, and some of my DNA? Until then, we’ll stick with your old slogan: Nigeria: Posing as Somebody Else Since Email Was Invented!

Carry on, Citizens!

Bonus Material: Most commonly heard motivational taunt by coaches at Special Olympics practices this week: “Come on you guys, you’re playing like the Obama Administration!”

Atheists have been fighting the inclusion of the phrase “So help me God” for many years.  Challenges to the separation of church and state issue have largely been ignored by the higher courts. Judges have cited reasons ranging from the phrase “separation of church and state” not actually appearing in the Constitution to the fact that Atheists tend to be disagreeable little snots that really annoy the judges.

This time, however, the Supreme Court heard the cause of the Atheists after a particularly late night following a Washington Wizards game.  It seems that everyone went back to Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s place for “one more round” and the next thing you know they were handing down decisions from her 12 seat hot tub.  The Supreme Court Justices voted to exclude God from the inauguration but felt that something or somebody should come at the end of “so help me,” inasmuch as it just sounds wrong.

After passing around a bottle of Captain Morgan’s, the Justices concluded that Pokey would complete the phrase nicely.  Justice Alito said, “Pokey is a nonthreatening character to theists and atheists as evidenced by the fact that nobody in the history of the United States has brought a Pokey related lawsuit before this court.  Gumby, yes. But not Pokey. Pokey’s reputation is unblemished.”

Atheist activists considered the decision a win at first. However, news that a new Gumby and Pokey movie might cause a new legion of fans to worship Pokey, has Atheists considering another lawsuit.

Carry on, Citizens!

“So will algae and mold.” ~ Jeff  Stanger

Continental Airlines successfully conducted a test flight with a Boeing 747 powered by biofuel today.  Now, when I think biofuel, I think corn. Or, maybe soybeans. I don’t think algae. You don’t think algae. (You don’t do you?) But, the biofuel mad scientists at Continental thought algae.  They proudly claim they’re the first to try to fly a plane powered by algae. I believe them.

Is this taking the Green movement too far? I’m not sure. Don’t expect to fly on an algae powered plane anytime soon, however. UOP, the company that helped develop the technology with Continental says “there isn’t enough sustainable feedstock at the right price point to able to be competitive with petroleum.”

This of course caused me to ponder how the world could produce “sustainable feedstock.” And then it hit me: Mold. There is plenty of mold in the average college student fridge. If algae could be converted to fuel, why not mold? They’re both green! And if mold could be converted, and if it could be harvested from student refrigerators, and if we could power airplanes with it, and if I could end this sentence, Al Gore could finally wander off into the woods in peace.

So, let’s ask President Elect Obama to invest in Mold Fuel.  I just looked in my fridge and there is enough to power my PT Cruiser for at least a week!

Carry on, Citizens!

Carry on, Citizens!

I didn’t watch Obama’s infomercial before the game started. It’s not the 1st time a World Series has been delayed by someone campaigning for President. It certainly should be the last. I’ll miss baseball after tonight and wait patiently until Spring Training. Tomorrow I will post the Green Fields of the Mind by Bart Giamatti.

Carry on, Citizens!

Baseball fans have to endure interruption marketing between innings. But, they expect to see beer commercials and promos for the latest shows on Fox. They tolerate it in exchange for a free couch seat for the Fall Classic.

What they don’t expect, and thus haven’t given permission, is to endure campaign commercials. Even worse, Obama is going to delay game 6 so he can buy 30 minutes of network air time.

I’ve decided that as punishment for last night’s interruption of the World Series by the 2 campaigns, we should interrupt the inauguration with an impromptu Whiffle Ball game. Drop me a note if you would like to play a little Whiffle Ball in D.C. next January.

Carry on, Citizens!