I heard Alanis Morissette playing in my head when I heard the news that Indianapolis was awarded the 2012 Super Bowl. “Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think…”

Why, you might ask?  Well, most NFL experts are deeply concerned that when the current collective bargaining agreement runs out, the two sides are so far apart that there may be a lockout. When does it run out? After the 2010 season. When would the lockout occur? The 2011 season. When does the Super Bowl take place for the 2011 season? You guessed it, 2012.  We just got awarded the Super Bowl to a season that might not happen. Somebody cue the Canadian chick. “A little too ironic…”

Carry on, Citizens!

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A Dallas Cowboys intern was fired in Dallas this evening, causing an outcry from season ticket holders who wanted the opportunity to beat him into a coma when the season starts. It seems that owner Jerry Jones told the intern he would like Pacman in the stadium. The intern (completely clueless about 80’s video games) sent a series of emails that led to the trade for Pacman Jones today with the Tennessee Titans.

Jerry Jones tried to nullify the trade, claiming he meant this Pacman and not this Pacman. However, Titans ownership was quoted as saying, “We put up with the human crime wave for 3 years. You guys signed the deal, he’s your problem now.” Titans coach Jeff Fisher also added, “You might want to have a bail bondsman on retainer.” FYI-Pacman Jones has been arrested six times and been involved in incidents involving police showing up 12 times since he was drafted in 2005.

Most NFL pundits expected Pacman to wind up playing for the Cincinnati Bengals where that sort of behavior is actually encouraged. A Bengals front office spokesman who refused to be named told me that, “We thought Pacman was a lock. We took him to a strip club and let him beat up an autograph seeker from Dayton. It was the perfect Pacman weekend, we thought.”

Carry on, Citizens!

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Roger Goodell thinks that you and I are stupid. He’s pretty sure of it, in fact. He thinks we’re so stupid, that he told a U.S. Senator that he destroyed the New England Patriots Spygate tapes because a) Belichek admited to cheating and b) he was afraid the tapes would fall into the hands of other teams.

Wow, Roger, that’s some pretty lax security you’ve got there at NFL headquarters. I suppose if I got a few of my old college buddies together, we could just sneak a horse in there a la Animal House and make off with the tapes.  Good thing you destroyed them, because we were on our way.

Anyway, Roger thinks we’re too stupid to figure out that if the Patriots had been cheating all along, the integrity of the game would evaporate.  Corporate sponsors might pull out. Fans might not go to the gamses.

Not to mention, there would be some goodfellas from Vegas preparing to break some NFL front office legs for $ they may have lost. Just today, a former St. Louis Rams player sued the Patriots, their owner, and Coach Belicheck. If cheating skewed the results of games, don’t expect this to be the only law suit.  Unfortunately, Roger destroyed much of the evidence.

But let’s get this straight. He did it because he thinks he’s smart and we’re stupid. And Roger is pretty smart. Smart enough to not lie to a Senator when asked if the cheating went farther back than this year.  Does anybody think he would have EVER revealed this if not forced to do so? Sorry, Roger. We’re not that stupid.

Carry on, Citizens!

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