Archives: Jeff-Stanger

Things Fall Apart, It’s Scientific

Things Fall Apart, It’s Scientific

wwlHave you ever had one of those weeks? I mean one of THOSE weeks? I’ve been having one of those weeks. So much so, that our youngest told my wife that, “the bad luck fairy is following him this week.” You know it’s bad when the kids are seeing the bad luck fairy.

We have had two themes this week: things falling apart and doggie misbehavior. The doggie misbehavior has been centered around poop. He’s either rolling in it outside, or creating it inside. We’re not sure what brought on this weird behavior from a dog that otherwise doesn’t mess in the house, so I’m open to your suggestions. I think it has something to do with the standings in the NL West, but I could be wrong.

Easier explained is the things falling apart. It’s scientific, the Talking Heads told me so. They had the good sense to point it out in the song Wild Wild Life. Of course, they weren’t the first to point this out. Scientists and religious scholars have been pointing this out for years. Believe it or not, there is actually one thing that Evolutionists and Creationists agree on: things are falling apart!

Evolutionists believe that everything started with a Big Bang! Since then, the Universe has been expanding. In other words, everything in the universe was together in one place and after the Big Bang, it has been falling apart ever since. Creationists believe that God created the universe and that after the fall of man, death and decay entered the world. Or in other words, the world was together and wonderful and now it’s falling apart.

Now this isn’t a debate about evolution/creation. I’m simply pointing out that two very different world views agree on one thing: things fall apart. Things will continue to fall apart. Things have pretty much always been falling apart. With that in mind, it’s easier to step back and realize that having “one of those weeks” is going to happen. Hopefully not to frequently. But they will happen. And someone is bound to have a worse week than you.

Carry on, Citizens!

Facts Cause Cancer is available for download on Kindle, Nook, & Kobo. Click the cover for more details.

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Thank You, Citizens!

Thank You, Citizens!

factscover2JToday, I want to say thank you to everyone who has read this blog these past 10 years. That’s right, Carry On, Citizens turns 10 in a week. It’s been a great ride and I hope there are 10 more. To celebrate, today I released an ebook of popular posts and new material. Thanks to all the Citizens who helped make these last 10 years fun. Your support, comments, and encouragement are greatly appreciated.

3 Citizens deserve extra special recognition. First, I want to thank Brian Groce for keeping the blog running. He’s the wizard behind the curtain that makes sure the hackers don’t get in and the content gets out. Next, I want to thank Bill Bean for encouraging the name change (This used to be called Jeffreaux’s World). And finally, thanks to my wife, my biggest fan.

Carry on, Citizens!

Download Facts Cause Cancer Now!

The Royal Crier

The Royal Crier

Photo from USA Today

Photo from USA Today

You can debate the name, get giddy over the size and weight, even fantasize over when the Royal Baby will be the Royal Highness. Fine. Have it all. For me, there was one singular moment that defined this international event: Tony Appleton, the Royal Crier, in full regalia shouting out the news. I wept openly. Not about the baby, I couldn’t care less. In the words of Jerry Seinfeld, “I’m happy they’re happy, but it doesn’t do anything for me.”

I am, however, a HUGE fan of marvelous headwear. And I must say, The Royal Crier outfit (hat and all) is the epitome of how I want to go to work everyday (Even when working at home). I think the world would be infinitely more entertaining if we dressed like this. Crime would certainly go down. You can’t mug someone dressed like this. You can’t shoot someone dressed like this. Hell, you can’t even bully someone dressed like this. All you can do is regard them with awe and respect.

I must dress like this for Halloween, at least. That gives me at least 3 months to work on it. If anyone out there can set me up with this exact outfit, I will get my wife pregnant just so I can name a child after you. Well, okay maybe not. She has some say in this and I’m pretty sure she won’t let me name a kid after you. Maybe I can have one of our existing children answer to your name for a day. Or, I can just send you some free swag (books, t-shirts, and such).

Carry on, Citizens!

Chucky 6 VS Trolley Dodgers 1

Chucky 6 VS Trolley Dodgers 1

trolleydodgers-1Five times. Five times Hollywood has trotted out Chucky for a movie. And number six is coming this summer. Chucky, in case you don’t know is a little demonic doll that seems to keep getting movie gigs. Hollywood has run out of ideas. Reboots and sequels. That’s all we get these days.

So, if you’re a filmmaker, or you know a filmmaker, or you would like to be a filmmaker, please consider Trolley Dodgers. It’s an original story. It would be cheap to make. It doesn’t involve expensive special effects. It has the three things every great movie needs: romance, baseball, and carnies. Please consider making this movie, Hollywood. Spare us Chucky 7, Fast & Furious 7, and any more remakes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Carry on, Citizens!

 

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