Office Visits

On the carpet are the taped outlines of two dead bodies. When visitors come to my office, I love to watch the tension build as they uncomfortably step around the tape. They nervously glance down and back at me. Just when they are about to come unglued I tell them that a couple of cleaning ladies got in a dispute, killing each other with hand held dust busters. That usually prevents people from coming back to my office a second time.

The Bloomington Daily News is owned by a chain headquartered in Minneapolis. Occasionally, they like to send a suit down from headquarters to “check in” on us. Ira, my editor, gets visibly nervous every time they come. He usually has a horrible rash for the two days leading up to the event and drives everybody crazy. I’m usually ordered to clean my office and be on my best behavior. One of us is usually disappointed in the other.

On our last inspection day, I threw a cocktail party in my office. I convinced a 7 foot center from the Indiana University basketball team to dress up like Abe Lincoln and be the doorman. Inside the office were Red Steppers (IU’s dance team) serving drinks and hors d’oeuvres. For entertainment, there was a performance artist reciting Othello in an obscure African dialect while painting faces on ping pong balls. Ira was horrified, but the inspector didn’t seem to mind the Red Steppers.

–Trolley Dodgers–

Presidential Splash

This is in no way meant to disrespect our President, but Dick Cheney spilling his water on President Bush after the State of the Union Speech was classic comedy. I?m very surprised by how few people actually noticed it. The network I was watching captured it on camera, but the announcers were too busy commenting on the speech to notice. Only one other person in our office noticed it.

Yesterday, my sister-in-law held the phone up to her crying 2 month old baby. Riley, stopped crying as long as she could hear my voice. When the phone was pulled away, she started to cry again. The pull of the Diego is getting increasingly difficult to resist.

Icy Return to Work

I returned to The Army today.

The wisdom of Toad is appropriate:

And little ever changes
If anything at all
But the song rings loudly
Through these halls

And little ever changes
When you view it from the sky
The damage we encounter
Earth just passes by

And little ever changes
If anything at all
Just remind ourselves
How small we are

It was 60 degrees in my office this morning. Why do I live in Indiana? I?ve got until September 21st to sort that out.

Trophies

I go back the The Salvation Army tomorrow. Much weirdness to follow.

Sebastion seems to have been placated by the news that I?m planning a trip to Omaha if the Canes go to the College World Series. How serious is baseball to Miami. When the current coach came to the school to interview for the job, he noticed that the CWS Runner-Up trophy was being used as a doorstop. In Coral Gables, the only trophies that matter are the ones that say National Champions. If only I could demand that sort of excellence from myself?

Roxy got some more page time today. Maybe she?ll have a book of her own someday.

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