If you’re tired of the Kobe trial, the selfish and overrated USA basketball team, and the endless parade of women suing Andre Rison for child support, then check out Tom Verducci’s column today about Greg Maddux. It might restore your faith that there are still a few humble heroes out there.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2004/writers/tom_verducci/08/10/maddux/index.html?cnn=yes

“Living in New York can be annoying, in no small part because the place is crawling with New York sports fans. Yankees fans are like Paris Hilton — and not just because lots of them (especially the men) wear jeans that reveal far more butt crack than is socially acceptable.” –Mark Bechtel

Ok, I’ve been away for a while. I think it’s justified considering I’ve been sick and the doctors can’t seem to figure out what’s wrong. Anyway, to get back into the swing of things, let’s start with another poll.

Email me and tell me your favorite sports movies of all time. I’ll post results next week. ESPN ran their top 25 last week and I must say I was underwhelmed. Now, “pick me out a winner Bobby.”

Every year the AAA All Star game goes largely unnoticed. Too bad. A passed ball in the ninth allowed Calvin Pickering of Omaha to score from third and tie the game. League rules require that the game end after 10 innings regardless of the score. (Thanks a lot Mr. Selig!) So, it looked like game was going to end in a 3-3 tie. In the bottom of the 10th with two outs, Columbus Clipper Andy Phillips hit a solo bomb to left field. This, of course, came after the announcers had conceded that this game was going into the record books without a winner.

What was really amazing was the number of guys in the Pacific Coast League dugout that were smiling and clapping for Phillips. I’ve never seen an opposing team that was actually smiling after giving up a walk-off home run. Even they couldn’t deny the “Hollywood” factor in what they had just witnessed. But, mostly I think that they would rather lose that way than play to a tie. Somebody mention that to MLB’s commissioner.

It?s time to announce the Inaugural Tub of Goo Team. I decided to induct an even dozen for the first year, then each year we can add more to the squad. The following men will be forever enshrined in Goo-dom.
(more…)

…but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Ok, this is the part where you (the reader) get to interact with me (the lunatic). I am accepting nominations for the All Tub of Goo Team. These are players who, despite being out of shape, played Major League Baseball. I currently would qualify for the team in as much as I am out of shape and well, a tub of goo. I think this will help motivate me to lose weight. Anyway I will start the nominations off with a few of mine and you can add your favorites. I will announce the top vote getters in a couple of weeks.

My nominations:

David Wells, P
Babe Ruth, OF
John Kruk, 1B, OF
Bob Horner, 1B
Cecil Fielder, 1B
Boy there seem to be a lot of first basemen.
Tony Gwynn, OF
Kevin Mitchell, OF

Do the Goo

While it is true that skating is a mode of transportation, there are other skills involved. Running is transportation but the other three sports (basketball, baseball, and football) have it. As for the number of players: hockey-5 (yes the goalie makes six, but he doesn’t count…Because I said so. Don’t argue.) Since there are multiple skills (and Canadians are good at it) I say it is a sport.

Winter Olympics Geoff & Jeff style:
(excerpts from a series of emails)

Jeff: I would like to rule out all ?sports? involving Dick Button and the ones where the crowd has to be quiet.

Geoff: Figure skating is definitely an activity. I feel your Dick Button clause is still valid. Also, they have this “death spiral” move where death isn’t even remotely possible. They should refer to it as the “possible cold butt spiral.”

Jeff: For the sake of the children, we need to rule out many of the Winter Olympic ?sports.?

Geoff: Ok, let?s start with snowboarding. Here I refer you to my first criteria of activities…a possible mode of transportation. If something is a mode of transportation it has a purpose. Sports by nature have no inherent purpose. Sports are pointless in the whole scheme of things. It also has no elements of a team involved. There must be teams to be a sport. There is also no defense, which I believe we agreed is a must as well. They also use terms that I don’t even come close to understanding.

Jeff: Luge - really cool, but only one person. Also no defense.

Geoff: Curling - they use brooms. Items from the custodial arts cannot be part of a sport. It also uses a rock.

Jeff: Curling was invented by bored, out of work, single janitors.

Geoff: Cross country skiing - mode of transportation. Also, Norwegians dominate. We just can’t have that.

Jeff: I hear they are also making strides in jacks. They?re the favorite in next year?s Recess Games. (ESPN 2)

Geoff: Speed skating - fun to watch but again a possible mode of transportation.

Jeff: I really like the event where people ski for a while then shoot things. I think they should add the shooting element to the marathon. For example, every 5th mile of the Boston Marathon, let the runners shoot at hot dog vendors and other street merchants. That would be worth watching!!!

Oh, yeah. It?s heating up. I shall try to respond to the first round of comments to the ?What is a Sport debate.

First to Matt: Take your meds! Gardening is definitely not a sport!

Second to Brian: According to Geoff, ?Hockey - I have come to realize that in order to be a sport, there must be more than one skill involved. Hockey has skating, but also stick-handling, checking, shooting, etc. It has defense, teams, is pointless, and is therefore a sport.?

BTW, Geoff is a real person, not a figment of my imagination as some may have suggested. Geoff Aiken is a middle school teacher and baseball coach. We played 5 seasons together in softball and entertained many in the process. Geoff Aiken, Darryl Neher, Mike Burns, and myself made up the most mentally twisted infield in the history of the game. Our infield chatter was so disturbing that a female umpire actually quit after calling one of our games. I?ve grown up since then. Sort of. Geoff?s claims to fame are he was the ONLY left handed shortstop in the history of the Bloomington adult softball league and he does the funniest Vin Scully impression I?ve ever heard.

Third to Patty: Dear child, where hast thou gone astray? Chess fails on #?s 1,2,3,4, and 9. Pairs skating is JUDGED and that clearly is wrong!!! Geoff denies your request and will harbor scorn in his heart for you for a twenty minute period to be assessed at a later date.

Fourth to Campy: I don?t know what?s worse: the Star devoting space to cards or the Celebrity Poker show on TV. Who cares if the cast of the West Wing can play poker???

Next Post: We?ll deal with the Winter Olympics!