I thought I would recycle a popular post from 2004 because it hit me that jargon in the workplace hasn’t become any less ridiculous than it was 8 years ago. So, by request, here’s a reboot of “On Blog” from January 2004:
You ever notice how catch phrases worm their way through corporate America? Some business guru or writer at Fast Company will turn a phrase, and suddenly everyone in America that works in an office is using it in conversation. A few years ago, it was “B2B.” Everyone was using …

In the lead up to tonight’s NFL draft, there have been a lot of lists published recently to rank the worst draft picks of all time. And, I could have done the same thing. However, it occurred to me that ranking NFL draft busts is like shooting fish in a barrel. I think Citizens want to know who the worst draft pics of all time- in all genres. So with a side order of adieu, here we go:
5) Shemp
In 1946, the 3 Stooges had to replace Curly after he …

Moby Dick is back. And this time, he’s taking on baseball fans instead of sea captains! When Opening Day arrives for the Lake County Captains (Minor League Affiliate of the Cleveland Indians) they will be able to do battle with the Moby Dick sandwich. According to the team’s website:
The Moby Dick features a 15″ sesame seed hoagie roll, five quarter-pound fish filets, eight slices of cheese, six ounces of clam strips, one-third pound of French fries, one cup of cole slaw, all topped off by gobs of lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, …

Yesterday, Mashable’s Samantha Murphy listed 10 places you’re not allowed to see on Google Maps. This list is pretty bizarre, as it includes the Buffalo Airport, Cornell University’s Power Plant, Babylon in Iraq, and property owned by the Dutch Royalty. It did get me thinking —what else should be blurred on Google maps? Here’s what I came up with:
1) Godzilla’s Citizen Hideout. I’m okay with it being easily found on Foursquare, but Godzilla isn’t keen on being seen from above (what with all the fighter jets trying to take him …

The weather is getting warmer and you’re thinking, “I need to go to Starbucks and get an Iced Chai Berry Mocha Unicorn Sprinkle Tea and a scone.” But then it hits you, “Iced Chai Berry Mocha Unicorn Sprinkles Tea is so Mad Men 3rd Season.  What can I drink that is now? What can I drink that nobody is drinking? What can I order that when other people hear about it they will want it more than Cartman wants bacon wrapped Cheesy Poofs?”
Well, Citizens, we have your answer. Panda Dung …

If you own any version of the Amazon Kindle, Kansaska is free all weekend long! Click here to download your free copy.
What is Kansaska, you ask?
Take a trip back to 1948 and spend a summer in the Kansaska Retail Agricultural Products league. In the first half of the 20th Century, semi-pro baseball leagues thrived throughout the United States. The legendary K.R.A.P. League was no exception. Kansaska centers on the lowly Portis Eskimos. 19 years removed from their last championship, the Eskimos are motivated to win. Motivated by love. Motivated by …

Have you ever wondered about that phrase? Just why is the proof in the pudding? Did the person who coined the phrase research other desserts? I have this vision of a team of scientists in Belgium holding a press conference.
“We’ve eaten a variety of cakes, pies, and cookies. We were unable to find conclusive truth in any of them. Dr. Van Wilmart claimed to have found proof in pecan pie. However, is research could not be duplicated and we later learned his brother owned a pecan farm. The esteemed Dr. …

Citizens are impervious to vampires, zombies, and Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Citizens read Carry On, Citizens making them smarter, happier, and better at game shows.
If Godzilla sees a citizen on the street, he will blast them with his atomic breath. If Godzilla sees a Citizen on the street, he most likely will buy them a beer.
Citizens are often followed by cartoon woodland creatures.
Citizens smell like Cinnamon.
Citizens instinctively know how to curse in French.
When a Citizen gets a tattoo, it’s in 3D.
If Jack Bauer were a Citizen, he would only need 23 hours.
Citizens who …

 A friend of mine sent me this picture to blog about. She felt the disturbing nature of the text was well suited to my particular brand of disturbing humor. I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult, but I’m trying to be more of a glass is half full type of guy. So, we’ll go with compliment.
Anyway, in case you can’t enlarge the picture, here is what it says:
Pinto Bean/Hotdog Supper.
Womanless Beauty Contest.
Carolina Travelers
August 27  4 until
Wow, there’s just so much to choose from —I don’t know where …

I was in a department store today with a couple of friends. I’ve always sort of viewed the department store as a flyover venue, sort of like New Yorkers view the Midwest. For me, it was that place you walked through on your way to the other place —the place with the electronics, or the gadgets, or the food court. Anyway, there were three of us on this journey, one being female. The female in our group is anticipating some sort of upcoming ritual that involves a minister, cake, and …