Now that the shut down is over, government can get back to doing all those things that politicians wring their hands over that are so important. Things that we can’t live without. Things like the following real government programs and expenditures:
- Moroccan Pottery Classes: The U.S. Agency for International Development spent $27 million over 4 years training Moroccans to design, create, and sell pottery.
- Creating Jobs for Russian Nuclear Scientists: That’s right. We’ve spent $15 million creating to help create 2,800 private sector jobs for Russian scientists so they won’t go to work for rogue states. Or to put it in perspective, the stimulus bill in 2009 over two years created fewer of the magical “green” jobs we were promised than we created for Russian scientists. Well done!
- Do you like craft beers? I hope so because if you drink Smuttynose Beer (available in 19 states), you the taxpayer paid them $750,000 to add three brew tanks to its operation.
- Dog shampoo is important, right? Sergeants Pet Care products (they had $140 million in revenue last year) received a $505,000 Community Development Block Grant so they could develop new pet shampoos and toothpaste.
- And this last one just made me stand up, turn towards Washington DC, and utter a phrase that would get our children grounded if they ever said it. The Alabama Watermelon Association received $25,000 to send the Watermelon Queen on a statewide tour to promote … oh who the hell cares what she promoted! She’s the effing Watermelon Queen. And people bitched that government was shut down for a couple of weeks? Dear God, they are the most irresponsible people on the planet!!
Carry on, Citizens! (I’ve gotta go wash my mouth out with soap.)