Whatever you call the new healthcare law “Affordable Care Act,” “Obamacare,” or “Dear God this is a cluster…” it’s pretty clear that consumers haven’t cozied up to it as quickly as the Administration would have liked. So to combat this problem, the White House has lined up a team of celebrities to encourage you to sign up. Adam Levine is pitching Obamacare. Amy Poehler is too. So is Lady Gaga.
This of course got me thinking. Is there a law that I could endorse? I don’t want anything big or controversial like Obamacare, abortion, gay marriage etc. Oh no, I want some absurd and ridiculous. I want to be the official spokesperson of a law so out there, that you just shake your head and say, “Really, they had time to pass that?!”
And since Congress is filled with the absurd and inconsequential, I didn’t have to look very hard. Believe it or not, Congress actually passed the following law. And the President actually signed it. And you actually thought they weren’t doing anything!
In Liberty We Catch
The same month that the gun reform bill failed in the Senate, Congress sent a bill to the president that dealt with an issue of somewhat questionable importance: “To specify the size of the precious-metal blanks that will be used in the production of the National Baseball Hall of Fame commemorative coins.”
The coins are set to be released in 2014 and are curved like a baseball glove with the words “liberty” and “in God we trust” printed on one side. The legislative branch amended the original bill for the coins “by striking ‘have’ and inserting ‘be struck on a planchet having a'” in two locations. (Quoted from ABC NEWS, written by NICKI ROSSOLL and JOAN E. GREVE)
Are you kidding me? This is a serious matter! We need to inform the public about the baseball glove coins coming next year. And I am willing to be the spokesperson for this important piece of legislation, Mr. President. And, because I believe in my country so much, I’m willing to do it for 1/10th the price that you’re paying Adam Levine. (Unless of course he’s doing it for free. In that case I’ll take World Series tickets as payment.)
Citizens you can help. Write your CongressMammal and tell them that I should be the spokesperson for the Hall of Fame Coin. Sure, I never played pro baseball. But as far as I can tell, Lady Gaga, Amy Poehler, and Adam Levine have never been doctors.
Carry on, Citizens!