I thought I would recycle a popular post from 2004 because it hit me that jargon in the workplace hasn’t become any less ridiculous than it was 8 years ago. So, by request, here’s a reboot of “On Blog” from January 2004:
You ever notice how catch phrases worm their way through corporate America? Some business guru or writer at Fast Company will turn a phrase, and suddenly everyone in America that works in an office is using it in conversation. A few years ago, it was “B2B.” Everyone was using …

In the lead up to tonight’s NFL draft, there have been a lot of lists published recently to rank the worst draft picks of all time. And, I could have done the same thing. However, it occurred to me that ranking NFL draft busts is like shooting fish in a barrel. I think Citizens want to know who the worst draft pics of all time- in all genres. So with a side order of adieu, here we go:
5) Shemp
In 1946, the 3 Stooges had to replace Curly after he …

Moby Dick is back. And this time, he’s taking on baseball fans instead of sea captains! When Opening Day arrives for the Lake County Captains (Minor League Affiliate of the Cleveland Indians) they will be able to do battle with the Moby Dick sandwich. According to the team’s website:
The Moby Dick features a 15″ sesame seed hoagie roll, five quarter-pound fish filets, eight slices of cheese, six ounces of clam strips, one-third pound of French fries, one cup of cole slaw, all topped off by gobs of lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, …

Yesterday, Mashable’s Samantha Murphy listed 10 places you’re not allowed to see on Google Maps. This list is pretty bizarre, as it includes the Buffalo Airport, Cornell University’s Power Plant, Babylon in Iraq, and property owned by the Dutch Royalty. It did get me thinking —what else should be blurred on Google maps? Here’s what I came up with:
1) Godzilla’s Citizen Hideout. I’m okay with it being easily found on Foursquare, but Godzilla isn’t keen on being seen from above (what with all the fighter jets trying to take him …

Have you ever wondered about that phrase? Just why is the proof in the pudding? Did the person who coined the phrase research other desserts? I have this vision of a team of scientists in Belgium holding a press conference.
“We’ve eaten a variety of cakes, pies, and cookies. We were unable to find conclusive truth in any of them. Dr. Van Wilmart claimed to have found proof in pecan pie. However, is research could not be duplicated and we later learned his brother owned a pecan farm. The esteemed Dr. …

Have you ever watched performance art? It’s kind of like seeing a UFO. You know you saw something, you’re just not sure what it was or if it was really art. If performance art makes you feel that way, you’re really going to be scratching your head over this one: A woman in New York is going to turn the birth of her child into performance art.
Marni Kotak is calling her show The Birth of Baby X. I’m assuming the baby will appreciate the title years later, as it will …

(Today’s post is a bit of fiction from a project I’m working on AND it’s an entry into the Writer’s Week Contest being held over  at Emily Suess’s blog.)
(Update: I didn’t win the contest, but it was fun to participate. By the way, the opening line was one of the 50 writing prompts you had to choose from for the contest.)
In high school, I got detention for selling homemade condoms. I won’t go into the process of how they were made, but suffice it to say they were made of …

Citizens are impervious to vampires, zombies, and Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Citizens read Carry On, Citizens making them smarter, happier, and better at game shows.
If Godzilla sees a citizen on the street, he will blast them with his atomic breath. If Godzilla sees a Citizen on the street, he most likely will buy them a beer.
Citizens are often followed by cartoon woodland creatures.
Citizens smell like Cinnamon.
Citizens instinctively know how to curse in French.
When a Citizen gets a tattoo, it’s in 3D.
If Jack Bauer were a Citizen, he would only need 23 hours.
Citizens who …

 A friend of mine sent me this picture to blog about. She felt the disturbing nature of the text was well suited to my particular brand of disturbing humor. I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult, but I’m trying to be more of a glass is half full type of guy. So, we’ll go with compliment.
Anyway, in case you can’t enlarge the picture, here is what it says:
Pinto Bean/Hotdog Supper.
Womanless Beauty Contest.
Carolina Travelers
August 27  4 until
Wow, there’s just so much to choose from —I don’t know where …

I was in a department store today with a couple of friends. I’ve always sort of viewed the department store as a flyover venue, sort of like New Yorkers view the Midwest. For me, it was that place you walked through on your way to the other place —the place with the electronics, or the gadgets, or the food court. Anyway, there were three of us on this journey, one being female. The female in our group is anticipating some sort of upcoming ritual that involves a minister, cake, and …