This is 2014. We’ve been to the moon (45 years ago). We have YouTube, the MLB network, and sporks. In other words, humans are a pretty crafty lot. Yet there are some things that we have yet to grasp or solve. So in the spirit of the great inventor and scientist Nicola Tesla (Edison was a goon. Read about that here.), here are three inventions that I feel the world sorely needs.
1) Morning Person Repellent. When a non morning person comes into contact with a morning person, the results can be tragic. For too long we night owls have had to put up with chatty coworkers, inquisitive moms, or generally anyone who feels the need to open their mouths before a respectable hour such as 9:00 or 10:00AM. There would be less workplace violence, fewer divorces, and better child/parent relationships if we could get this solved. The repellent needs to be nontoxic and impervious to person’s body building up a tolerance for it. God forbid morning people become even more chatty!
2) Brain Defragmenter. My brain is fragmented. I have so many story ideas and half written novels in there. But they are all jumbled up with personal stuff, baseball trivia, rock music trivia, various web passwords, the location of my socks, the names of our kids, and the cooking instructions for homemade wings. In short, there’s a lot of stuff up there. If we can defragment computers, why can’t we do it to our brains?
3) Jet Packs. We were promised jet packs in the 60’s. They never happened. Oh, sure they showed up in James Bond movies and a few TV shows. But they were never perfected for widespread use. (I’m not the only one disappointed by this. There is an Indie band from Scotland named We Were Promised Jetpacks.) I would like to hope that before I die I could travel to the grocery store via jet pack. In fact, I will make the promise to my wife now that I will do all the grocery shopping for the rest of our lives once a jet pack with enough storage to carry groceries is invented.
Carry on, Citizens!
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