The worship of Sounvenirous comprises a variety of rituals meant to appease the god and thus curry some sort of artifact as a sign of his favor. The most common manifestation being the receiving of a foul ball or a tossed ball from a player. The former is considered to b much more of an expression of divine favor, as the event is random and often painful.  Souvenerians, as they call themselves, are mostly found in baseball ballparks, but splinter denominations have been found in ice hockey arenas, at Arena Football games, and Mardis Gras.

Thus brings us to the part about child sacrifice. It is not uncommon amongst unlearned practitioners of Sounvenirism to hold up a child in order to curry favor from one of the diety’s minions (a player) or to unwittingly stop the flight of a hard hit foul ball. The second option almost always ends in the injury of the child and after the thrill of getting the ball, the embarrassment of the parents.

It’s rare to see such blatant Souvenirous worship these days, as many people have stopped worshiping at games and spend inning after inning on their iPhones, wasting the box seats their companies paid for to schmooze clients. Souvenirous is often offended by such insolence, and retaliates by a well timed broken bat shard to the neck.  However, I did see such a thing at an Indianapolis Indians game last week. Two parents, holding up their child and calling for a ball sat a couple of rows in front of me. Luckily their child was spared, as he must have not pleased Souvenirous. He was rather odd looking.

Carry on, Citizens!

• Bill Clinton was President.
• Bob Knight was the coach at Indiana University.
• Seinfeld was still making new episodes.
• The Pacers were a playoff team.
• I lived in Bloomington, IN.
• The Arizona Diamondbacks didn’t exist.
• Neither did the Tampa Bay Rays.
• Cal Ripken’s streak was still going.
• Jose Canseco et al were shooting roids like crazy.

I didn’t watch Obama’s infomercial before the game started. It’s not the 1st time a World Series has been delayed by someone campaigning for President. It certainly should be the last. I’ll miss baseball after tonight and wait patiently until Spring Training. Tomorrow I will post the Green Fields of the Mind by Bart Giamatti.

Carry on, Citizens!