Last week Derek Jeter hit his 3,000th hit. The milestone came as a home run in the bottom of the 3rd inning against the Senior Retirement Community Rays. The blast was caught by 23 year old Christian Lopez who graciously returned the ball to Jeter. The Yankees graciously offered him tickets for the rest of the season and other goodies. The IRS then graciously pimp slapped him with the threat of a $14,000 tax bill. All of which makes even the most cynical person stop and ask, “How many sentences in a row is he going to use the word graciously?”

Of course no one is talking about the performance enhancing drugs that may have helped Jeter get to this place. No, I’m not talking about steroids or HGH. I’m talking about anti aging creams and botox. How is it possible that Jeter looks the same as he did in his rookie season? The guy DOESN’T AGE! Am I the only one freaked out about this? I’m telling you the truth will come out and he will be consigned to the syringe shaped wing of the Baseball Hall of Fame that will house everyone from the Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds era.

And finally, amidst the Jeter hype, another baseball milestone is quietly going noticed. (Except here of course.) Jim Thome is clinging to the end of his career as a DH in Minnesota. Few people have noticed he is just 4 home runs from 600. Only 7 other players have reached that milestone. 4 of them have the cloud of steroids hanging over them. And though he played in the steroid era, Thome has never been implicated, accused of, or tested positive for steroids. He may have been the only legitimate home run king of his era. So, when he hits #600, I’ll write a post. And nobody will have to shame me into doing it.

Carry on, Citizens!

Baseball fans have to endure interruption marketing between innings. But, they expect to see beer commercials and promos for the latest shows on Fox. They tolerate it in exchange for a free couch seat for the Fall Classic.

What they don’t expect, and thus haven’t given permission, is to endure campaign commercials. Even worse, Obama is going to delay game 6 so he can buy 30 minutes of network air time.

I’ve decided that as punishment for last night’s interruption of the World Series by the 2 campaigns, we should interrupt the inauguration with an impromptu Whiffle Ball game. Drop me a note if you would like to play a little Whiffle Ball in D.C. next January.

Carry on, Citizens!

1) It’s a nice escape from the election. (Or so I thought until the campaign commercials invaded the WS experience. I’m calling them both Un-American for that, and no I’m not going to apologize or take it back. If Obama and McCain want to mess with baseball and not give us a few hours peace, they’re going to feel my wrath!)

2) The Rays have never been to the World Series.

3) The Phillies have Jamie Moyer. (I got to meet Jamie when he was pitching for the Mariners and he later comped my family tickets for an Inter league game against the Padres. So, I’m a little biased.)

And the reason you should join the Twitter Universe, posts like this by bearcrawling (bearcrawling.com): “Hey my proctologist gave me a whole new meaning to stimulus check.”

Carry on, Citizens!

Barack Obama has accumulated more campaign money than any other Presidential candidate in history. It’s obscene enough that this money isn’t going to agencies who could be helping the poor during this economic crisis, but he’s actually buying a half hour in prime time to talk (down) to the American people. And not just during any prime time -if the World Series goes 6 games, it will be delayed by Obama’s speech. They claim it will be delayed only 8 minutes, but it’s the principle not the time that offends me.

Don’t Americans deserve our World Series free from the relentless campaigning we’ve endured the past 2 years? Don’t we deserve a respite from politics? Don’t we deserve the right to complain about Tim McCarver over analyzing the game without first having to endure Obama’s interruption of the Fall Classic?

So, I’m asking you to protest Senator Obama’s interruption of the World Series. If the Series goes to game 6, turn the volume down until he’s done talking and post a comment on this website.  Any comment, about any topic. I don’t care.  Please tell all your friends to comment here as well.  I will take all the comments and send them to Washington in order to make sure this never happens again in our lifetime.  Do it for your children and your children’s children who deserve to see a World Series without politics!

Carry on, Citizens!

Regardless of which version you believe, I can tell you for certain the origin of the 20 year Dodger curse: Me. Yes, I cursed the Dodgers right after the final out of the 1988 World Series. I couldn’t stand the sight of the ball leaving Kirk Gibson’s bat and Dennis Eckersley watching it sail over the wall at Chavez Ravine. Over and over and over again I’ve had to watch that highlight. It was a deep wound.

Three years ago, I made peace with the Dodgers. I even went through the cathartic process of writing a novel about them. So, the curse has been lifted. And the Dodgers just might win the World Series this year. As for the Cubs, there’s no telling when that one will end.

Carry on, Citizens!

It’s been a crazy baseball season. The Rays are in the playoffs and yet the earth didn’t spin off its axis. The Cubs are in the playoffs and Steve Bartman has been ordered by a federal judge to not come within 1000 yards of Wrigley Field. Joe Torre is back in the playoffs, but as the manager of the Dodgers. The Brewers fired their manager 2 weeks ago, and are still in the playoffs!

Anything could happen in October, but I’m still sticking by my mid-season prediction of a Brewers/Angels World Series. I know the Brewers lost today, but they seem to thrive on adversity. I love the playoffs, but I need them to end quickly. I have a baseball novel to finish!

Carry on, Citizens!

Carry on, Citizens!

That’s right. He’s going to end Interleague play. No longer will fans be subjected to the Reds vs the Royals. No longer will Yankee fans suffer the misery of watching the Nationals. And in San Diego, rejoicing fans are pondering a future without ever having to watch the Orioles bring the their sad product to Petco Park. Now if we can just get Bud Selig tried for crimes against humanity…

Carry on, Citizens!

I love this excerpt because it cofirms the Bobble Head Barry accusations I’ve been making for the past couple of years:

“For his part, Murphy could document Bonds’ physical changes via the changes in his uniform size. Since joining the Giants, Bonds had gone from a size 42 to a size 52 jersey; from size 10 ½ to size 13 cleats; and from a size 7 1/8 to size 7 ¼ cap, even though he had taken to shaving his head.”

See, I told you!

Carry on, Citizens!