America’s Most Dangerous Communicable Disease

America’s Most Dangerous Communicable Disease

Last week I went to Penn Station for lunch. Since then I’ve been hiding out mostly. Trying to keep out of public places and away from people. There’s a dangerous bug going around and it’s infecting people of all races, creeds, orientations, and shoe size. This illness I speak of, the one that keeps me up at night: stupidity.

The guy in line behind me argued with the young lady behind the register because he didn’t feel he was given an option for a cold vs hot sub. He said the option wasn’t given to him by the person who took his order and he wanted a cold sub. The sub he ordered: The Philly Cheesesteak. Who the hell orders a COLD Philly cheesesteak? How does one make a COLD Phily? Do you serve it raw? (Remember, Penn Station grills the meat to order). Do you cook it and then let it sit for a half hour? Do you throw it in the fridge? What kind of person orders such a thing?

(I want to go on record before moving any further and state that the employee did a monumental job of showing both patience and restraint in the face of wanton pinheadery. She deserves to be Employee of the Month. Had I been behind the counter, I might have been tempted to waterboard him with the fresh squeezed lemonade.) 

After she her initial explanation to him, I didn’t stick around to learn the outcome. This affliction he was carrying is catching. I wanted out of there as fast as I could. As much as I wanted to help the girl explain to him the physics of the oven that his sandwich was already in or the dangers of raw meat being consumed with his cheese, peppers, and onions, I had to go.

I feel I made the right choice. When it comes to you and your brain, it’s every man, woman, and whatever sentient being Miley Cyrus believes she is this week, for his, her, or itself. Besides, the headlines are full of stupid this week. A couple of YouTubers decided to up their ratings by seeing if a book could stop a bullet. Spoiler alert, the bullet won.

It has infected the radio industry this week as well. A music coordinator from an LA radio station contacted Annie Lennox and told her that she “had potential” and she should send her an mp3 for her program director to have a listen. Dear God! I’m not even an Annie Lennox fan and I’m appalled.

And do I have to even go into what’s going on in Washington DC? Sorry folks but every person running around with either a D or an R next to their names have completely lost their minds! Stupidity is America’s number one communicable disease. So avoid stupid. Or you will become stupid! Now, I have to go reheat my Philly Cheesesteak.

Carry on, Citizens!

 

by Jeff

Jeff Stanger is an author and fundraising consultant as well as the answer to several obscure trivia questions. He writes for food and occasionally for spite. Google+

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