FKA Announce Intent to Protest in Washington This Week

FKA Announce Intent to Protest in Washington This Week

The Future Karnies of America (sic) have announced they will descend on Washington this week to protest a full slate of grievances. According to Skeeter McGlaughlin, current FKA President, Spokesperson, and Tilt-a-Whirl Historian, the group will be protesting:

President Elect Donald Trump: “We can no longer contain our anger at Donald Trump for killing Carnie Apprentice. It was our idea first. We had a network deal in hand and he came in with his flashy big city suit and spectacular hair and swept NBC off their feet. We won’t forget. We can’t forget!”

Outgoing President Barack Obama: “He pardoned Chelsea Manning and Chelsea Manning helped Edward Snowden. Long before she hacked the government, she hacked the Carnies. She knows things. Carnie things. She must be stopped.”

Lena Dunham: “We’re pretty sure she did something.”

PETA: They killed the Circus. Wait, that helps us. Less competition next summer. But they bitch about our goldfish ball toss. We’ll get back to you on PETA.”

There you have it. The Carnies are angry. They will be out in force this week in Washington. You’ve been warned.

Carry on, Citizens!

by Jeff

Jeff Stanger is an author and fundraising consultant as well as the answer to several obscure trivia questions. He writes for food and occasionally for spite.
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