Updates on Updates

Updates on Updates

Microsoft Office is updating on my computer right now. The dialogue screen says the time remaining is about a minute. It has said that for about 10 minutes now. So, I thought I would write an update on updates. It seems to be the theme today. My OS has needed an updated for a couple of weeks, so I updated it this morning. Then WordPress website told me my plugins needed security updates. Hackers are ever vigilant in their pursuit of my plugins.

I had to take my son’s car into the shop this morning because the system that is supposed to keep oil inside the vehicle’s engine needed an update. No matter how much foul language and cross-eyed threats I threw its way, it still refused to keep its oil to itself. So it’s being updated.

Now iTunes needs an update. iTunes is constantly updating in an effort to “enhance” my listening experience. Yet, they still can’t seem to find the artwork to half my Bodeans albums and they keep trying to sell me music by artists I don’t like. In all the time I’ve had iTunes, I’ve never purchased any Rap or Country music. Ever. For all iTunes’ updates, they still haven’t figured that out.

Our country is in the process of updating its President. Unfortunately, the two main parties have decided that Clinton 2.0 and Trump 1.WTF are the options we are going to have to choose from. Thank God we have Gary Johnson, the Linux of the Presidential candidates. And for once, political Linux is looking pretty damn good to a lot of people.

Now, my email spam folder is filled with all kinds of offers to update things. Just a quick scan of the subject lines tells my I can have my education updated (Get a 1 Year MBA!), my breasts can be updated (Find Breast Augmentation Here!) or my mortgage can be updated (7 New Reverse Mortgage Options!).

On second thought, I think that’s enough updating for one day.

Carry on, Citizens!


by Jeff

Jeff Stanger is an author and fundraising consultant as well as the answer to several obscure trivia questions. He writes for food and occasionally for spite. Google+

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