Mike Runs Towards Disasters (Including the Ones He Creates)

Mike Runs Towards Disasters (Including the Ones He Creates)

Mike is a “seasoned Marketing professional.” I know that because Mike’s LinkedIn profile leads with that fact. (I’m not sure why marketing is capitalized, but that might be nitpicking) The reason I’m writing about Mike today is that he has contacted me twice in the last week because he would love to contribute an article to the website of one of my nonprofit clients. Did I mention that Mike thinks my name is Alexandria?

Did I mention that Mike thinks my name is Alexandria? I know I went to the women’s restroom at a truckstop on my way back from Memphis a couple of weeks ago, but it had nothing to do with the current bathroom debate. The men’s room was out of order and my wife and sister-in-law stood guard. I’m not transitioning to Alexandria. And if I was, I would choose a better name.

Anyway, as I said this went to my email address for one of my nonprofit clients. Yet, Mike thinks that this audience which is focused on fundraising training would be interested in:

-Why Can’t I Remove Red Wine Stains From My Carpet?

-5 Tips to Protect Your Carpet From Pets

-How to Make Your Carpet Look Brand Spanking New

(As a side note, don’t you think the phrase “Brand Spanking New” is weird? It makes spanking new things sound like a good thing. Something desirable even. But you try spanking new things at the mall and see where it gets you!) I

Do any of those topics sound like a good fit for people trying to learn more about fundraising? I didn’t think so either, so after multiple emails from Mike, I checked him out. His profile says he runs towards disasters. It also says he is seasoned marketing professional and an “out of the box thinker.” I’d say that’s pretty far out of the box if you asked me. I’d say he’s loaded one of those t-shirt guns you see at sporting events with the marketing feces he sold his clients and is firing it blindfolded at the wall to see what sticks.

Alas, Mike isn’t alone. For just as I started this post, a woman named Kathy emailed me. She thinks my name is Alexandria too. She also wants me to post an article on the site about women welders. Women Welders. On a fundraising site! Don’t get me wrong, I’m pro women. I’m pro welding. I think women should have the constitutional right to weld, provided there is some group somewhere that is somehow excluding them from welding. I also have no problem with men who identify as women engaging in welding. I really don’t care who’s under that welder’s helmet, provided the torch is pointed in the right direction (away from me).

But I absolutely, unequivocally, and with extreme prejudice believe that the topic of women welders has nothing to do with learning how to raise more money at your next annual dinner. If that makes me a content marketing bigot, then so be it.

Carry on, Citizens!

by Jeff

Jeff Stanger is an author and fundraising consultant as well as the answer to several obscure trivia questions. He writes for food and occasionally for spite. Google+

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