Four Questions the First Six Star Wars Movies Didn’t Answer (That the next Three should).
1) Why were stormtroopers such lousy shots? Granted, the movie would have been over too quick if they could hit the broad side of a barn, but seriously? This is the galactic army and they can’t hit a 7 foot tall walking shag carpet, an old man, and a couple of droids? Who the hell is training these guys?
2) Did the Death Star have a canteen? If so, will there be one on the new Death Star (as there is rumored to be one in the new movie.) If so, PLEASE let Eddie Izzard write a scene for it!
3) Can I play Jeff Vader? Haven’t heard of Jeff Vader? Please see the video above.
4) Are there personal injury lawyers in space? It seems that Luke, Leia, and Han destroyed a lot of public property (2 Death Stars) along with all the people inside. My guess is the last 40 years have been all about the lawsuits.
Carry on, Citizens!
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