10 Reasons To Be Happy Your Alarm Went Off

10 Reasons To Be Happy Your Alarm Went Off

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Bird of Prey

My wife doesn’t like my alarm. It’s a rather harmless tune that plays on my phone. It’s not a Ratt ringtone or a crazy sound effect. It’s just the default sound that came with the phone. It’s harmless, but she doesn’t like it. She doesn’t like the fact that she has to hear it repeatedly when I hit the snooze button. I hit it a lot. It’s not that I’m procrastinating the start of my day, it’s that I want to be sure the phone is sure that it’s time to get up. So, I hit the snooze button and tell the phone, “if you’re really sure, get back with me in 9 minutes.” The phone is always sure, and it always gets back to me. But sometimes I need it to repeat the process 4-5 times. I care about my phone and don’t want it to rush into any decisions.

This morning my alarm went off at 7am. I heard a little growl coming from the other side of the bed. It was the North American- why is that thing going off so early on a Saturday- wife growl. After silencing the phone and assuring it that the growl would not be the prelude to violence against the offending technology, I offered up some positive reasons to be happy when an alarm goes off.

  1. You didn’t wet the bed. (Assuming that everything around you is dry.)
  2. A giant bird of prey didn’t eat you in the night.
  3. You can still hear, and that means that nothing nested in your ear while you were asleep.
  4. Moments ago, if you were about to be crushed by a bus that was thrown by Godzilla, it was a dream.
  5. Biscuits and gravy exist, so you can go eat some for breakfast.
  6. Your dog, cat, hamster, ferret, or Shetland pony is waiting to say “good morning” to you.
  7. You’re one day closer to College Football season!
  8. Buffalo wings exist!
  9. An EMP bomb didn’t go off in the night, rendering all electronic devices useless.
  10. If the alarm belongs to someone else and they are in the same room with you, then you have somebody to wake up to every day.

Carry on, Citizens!

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by Jeff

Jeff Stanger is an author, talk show host, professional fundraiser, and the answer to several obscure trivia questions. He writes for food and occasionally for spite. Google+

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