The New Orleans Pelicans (Basketball Edition)

NO-PelicansThe New Orleans Hornets will change their names to the Pelicans next year. After a decade of being called the Hornets, the new ownership team decided they needed a name that truly reflected the local community (which is business speak for we’re not selling enough merchandise, let’s make a change). Sadly, if teams would simply leave their names after they move, we wouldn’t have this problem in sports. New Orleans should be the Jazz. They were the Jazz, until the Jazz moved to that other hotbed of Jazz music, Salt Lake City, UT. The Hornets then moved from Charlotte, NC to New Orleans. Two years later, Charlotte got another team and named them the Bobcats.

I know that’s hard to follow, so let me recap. Jazz music is played in New Orleans, but Jazz basketball has been exiled to Utah. Hornets are being turned into Pelicans in New Orleans (a genetic marvel to be sure), while Bobcats are making basketball go extinct in Charlotte. Follow me? It gets worse.

Most children in Los Angeles are wondering where the heck all these lakes their NBA franchise represents. The Lakers name moved with the franchise from Minnesota which actually does have lakes. Regardless, a body of water is a stupid name for any franchise. At least the Sonics had the good sense to rename themselves the Thunder when moving to Oklahoma City. Now the people of Seattle can keep the Sonics name if the Kings move from Sacramento (which looks like a possibility.) When Vancouver moved their franchise to Memphis, they kept the name Grizzlies. I’ve been to Memphis. I didn’t see many (as in any) Grizzlies.

And finally, the New Jersey Nets moved to Brooklyn and became the Brooklyn Nets. Okay, no big deal there except have you seen their logo? It looks like a 3rd grader designed it. Or worse, 1970’s clip art. I thought when they announced Jay-Z would have a hand in the ownership, the new logo would be something over the top. This looks like it was designed for a 1980’s  Intellivision game.

Carry on, Citizens!

by Jeff

Jeff Stanger is an author and fundraising consultant as well as the answer to several obscure trivia questions. He writes for food and occasionally for spite. Google+

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