Sorcerers, goblins, and evil spells. You would think these wold be found in a Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings/Hobbit movie. You don’t expect to read about them in Zimbabwe. Maybe Peter Jackson is down there right now filming a sequel to the Hobbit. But then again, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy is the sequel to The Hobbit. It can’t be a sequel to the Harry Potter series. JK Rowling has already promised she wouldn’t drop another one of those bricks on us. What could it be? Because somebody is talking goblins in the tourist mecca of Zimbabwe (Motto: Come for the poverty, stay for the droughts!)
It seems that a would be sorcerer died along with his assistants and some clients when explosives accidentally went off in his home. He apparently had been hired to strike down a goblin with a deadly lightning bolt and things got out of hand. So many things to discuss in those last 2 sentences, where do I begin? Well, first, let’s talk customer service. Killing your clients accidentally is usually bad for business. It’s hard to get repeat customers when you have a reputation for taking their money and their lives.
Second, the whole sorcerer industry looks bad when you give away that the deadly-bolt-of-lightning-trick is actually caused by emptying some mortar shells of a mercury compound, then setting it off while chanting and doing a deadly lightning bolt dance. Frankly, it’s bush league and you set the sorcery industry back years by this lack of professionalism.
Finally, a goblin? What the… I have so many questions. Did the goblin survive the blast? How will goblins be impacted by the new amnesty for illegals laws in America? In a tough economy, is scaring people enough to make ends meet for goblin families? Will a goblin ever make it to the NBA?
Carry on, Citizens!