My Bean is Better than Your Bean.

Yesterday, I had a meeting at a Starbucks in Indy and I ordered a Venti Hot Chocolate. I got the eye roll. You know the eye roll. It’s the one you get when the wannabe hipster/barista-in-training decides you’re tragically unhip for not ordering the latte-mocha-pumpkin-spice with a double shot of smug that happens to be the flavor-of-the-month. He gave me another eye roll when I paid via card. I rarely carry cash – but that’s a blog for another day.

I began thinking about the eye roll. It made me wonder why Starbucks sells hot chocolate if they’re going to mock you for ordering it? (And by the way, they make really good hot chocolate.) As I thought more, I realized that I shouldn’t feel like an inferior human for ordering that which is made from a superior bean. And so, I give you 3 reasons why the chocolate bean is better than the coffee bean.

1) Chocolate tastes great on everything. Coffee, not so much. Could you pour coffee on ice cream? No, it would melt and taste nasty. Pour chocolate on ice cream, and awesome turns to crazy awesome!

2) Chocolate has it’s own holiday- Valentine’s Day. Take that, coffee!

3) And finally, coffee may get a woman out of bed in the morning, but chocolate will get her back in…

Carry on, Citizens!

by Jeff

Jeff Stanger is an author and fundraising consultant as well as the answer to several obscure trivia questions. He writes for food and occasionally for spite. Google+

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