(Today’s post is a bit of fiction from a project I’m working on AND it’s an entry into the Writer’s Week Contest being held over at Emily Suess’s blog.)
(Update: I didn’t win the contest, but it was fun to participate. By the way, the opening line was one of the 50 writing prompts you had to choose from for the contest.)
In high school, I got detention for selling homemade condoms. I won’t go into the process of how they were made, but suffice it to say they were made of plastic and were completely unreliable. Luckily, nobody ever tried to sue me for a defective product and I never had a customer actually get someone pregnant. I think it might have been because the guys who were dumb enough to buy homemade condoms from me weren’t adept at getting girls anyway.
What they were really buying was status —something they could show their friends and say, “Hey, I have condoms. I’m ready to party.” I’m guessing that’s what they said. I never hung out with the guys who bought them.
Anyway, my next failed business was selling forged hall passes to other students. That also landed me in detention. After that, I embarked on a career of slightly questionable event marketing. My first success was renting out 3 whole floors of a local hotel on prom weekend. I had a team of low-paid minions call in bomb scares and pull fire alarms at the other hotels. Then, I simply sublet the rooms I had rented at twice the price.
This led to the creation of my next venture: OxyMoron. I sold acne medicine to kids with clear skin. The FDA shut me down on that one. However, I was undaunted. Not sure I was ever daunted either, but that’s a story for another day. I did use the money from the OxyMoron to finance my entry into the world of fashion apparel: Business Goth. I created a line of clothing that the Goth can wear to work and still retain his/her anarchist identity. It’s going pretty well. If it works out, I’m going to add Business Scott and Business Bavarian to the mix.