Now that the Olympics are in full swing, it’s time to reflect on all the “sports” that do and don’t get included. Curiously, perfectly normal sports like football and baseball are out. Yet, the Winter Olympics will give us something called “luge.” Luge looks a lot like high speed sledding to me. I’m not sure why they had to give it a name that seems to be a derivative of phlegm. But, I wasn’t consulted.

The Olympics also have a sport called “curling.” Curling was invented by 2 Canadian third shift security guards.  One night they drank an entire case of Molson each and decided they needed a recreational activity. The result was a cross between bowling, shuffleboard, and obsessive compulsive sweeping. A statue in honor of the two men was erected in their native Winnipeg.  It depicts one of them with the tell tale curling broom and while the other is vomiting. It’s a striking display.

Sports That Should Be Added

Donkey Basketball is, sadly, not part of the Olympics. Shocking, isn’t it? This sport has everything -goofy uniforms, donkeys, and from what I can tell from this picture, about 20 loyal fans! It also doesn’t seem to require a significant amount of athletic prowess, which the average viewer can probably relate to a lot more!

Apparently, donkey basketball has been a target of PETA and that might explain why it’s not in the Olympics yet. I don’t know their problem could be. PETA had no qualms about subjecting us to Dick Button all those years. Yeah, that’s right PETA, I’m calling you out on the Dick Button thing. Where were MY animal rights when he took the microphone?

Anyway, enjoy the Olympics and check back for more sports that should be included in the Olympics. Now, I’ve got to head to Best Buy to see if they have Curling for the PS3.

Carry on, Citizens!