I was at a gathering a few weeks back and my friend Jaimie shared a story with our table. As she weaved the tale, she tried to explain the relationship of a certain person to the main character of the story. The relationship: it was the baby daddy’s mama’s lesbian girlfriend. I have no idea how the story ended. For all I know, the baby daddy found a golden raisin in a scone he bought at Starbucks and was able to send his mother and her partner to Massachusetts to get married or see a Red Sox game.

I have no idea because my mind was singularly focused on one question: Does Hallmark make a baby daddy’s mama’s lesbian girlfriend Valentine’s Day Card? And if not, could I start a greeting card company and beat them to the punch. You see, I am sort of a entrepreneur at heart, and this seems like a huge opportunity. I think the Baby Daddy/Baby Mama card line has potential.

And, there are other greeting cards that need to be made. I remember my friend Justin had to make a card himself because he couldn’t find a “Sorry about your Vasectomy” card for someone in our office. What about the whole break-up market.  There’s the “it’s not you it’s me” series. The “I think we should be friends” line and the “Call me when the psychiatrist clears you to play” series. I once had a girl tell me I was like chocolate cake when she dumped me. She said I was really good, but not very good for her. At the time it hurt. Now, I think I think it would be a hilarious card.

Anyway, if you would like to join me in this venture, send me your card ideas. If they’re good, I will count you in. If they stink, well, we have a card for that too.

Carry on, Citizens!