I have a favorite saying that is taken from a Chevy Chase line, “If I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet, I couldn’t be any more surprised than I am now.”

That’s sort of how I felt when I read that tomorrow (March 3) is Square Root Day. Okay, that’s not exactly why. I get that it’s 3/3/09. The real reason is I discovered there are several other official “Days” tomorrow. These include:

• I Want You to Be Happy Day
• If Pets Had Thumbs Day
• National Anthem Day
• Peach Blossom Day

What worries me is that people are out there wondering what a world with pet thumbs would be like. And, there are enough of them to gain sufficient critical mass to have an official holiday named. Imagine how many awkward conversations had to take place before these people found each other. “Hi, my name is Stanley. I’ve been pondering the possibilities of my cat having a thumb.”

Somehow, I’m thinking these are the least likely people to ever be matched on eHarmony. In fact, I’m thining the Pet Thumb people are less likely than the Square Root people to be in committed relationship with an actual human being.

I’ve decided to create my own day. I’m going to lobby my Congressional representative to have it nationally recognized. I think March 12th should be Carry On, Citizens! Day. You should celebrate by dressing as your favorite character from Trolley Dodgers or Kansaska. And you should give gifts to other people -preferably copies of the aforementioned books.  You should also listen to Karnie music or join the save the Karnie page on Facebook. Who’s with me?

Carry on, Citizens!