Next Tuesday, Barack Obama will be sworn in as President of the United States.  He will be the first African American President. He will be the first Bi-racial President.  And, in a stunning move by the Supreme Court, he will be the first President to not say, “So Help Me God.”

Atheists have been fighting the inclusion of the phrase “So help me God” for many years.  Challenges to the separation of church and state issue have largely been ignored by the higher courts. Judges have cited reasons ranging from the phrase “separation of church and state” not actually appearing in the Constitution to the fact that Atheists tend to be disagreeable little snots that really annoy the judges.

This time, however, the Supreme Court heard the cause of the Atheists after a particularly late night following a Washington Wizards game.  It seems that everyone went back to Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s place for “one more round” and the next thing you know they were handing down decisions from her 12 seat hot tub.  The Supreme Court Justices voted to exclude God from the inauguration but felt that something or somebody should come at the end of “so help me,” inasmuch as it just sounds wrong.

After passing around a bottle of Captain Morgan’s, the Justices concluded that Pokey would complete the phrase nicely.  Justice Alito said, “Pokey is a nonthreatening character to theists and atheists as evidenced by the fact that nobody in the history of the United States has brought a Pokey related lawsuit before this court.  Gumby, yes. But not Pokey. Pokey’s reputation is unblemished.”

Atheist activists considered the decision a win at first. However, news that a new Gumby and Pokey movie might cause a new legion of fans to worship Pokey, has Atheists considering another lawsuit.

Carry on, Citizens!