Remember the Knicks? They were the proud perennial playoff team of the 90′s. They were the arch rival of my beloved Pacers. Now, not so much. These days they’re the NBA equivalent of a drama queen reality show (think Project Runway with equally ridiculous clothing but less crying.)

And there has been no bigger drama queen lately than Stephon Marbury. Marbury’s behavior has him banned from the team! That’s right, the Knicks are actually paying him to stay away from practices and teammates.

And that of course, is where I come in. According to the AP, the Knicks are paying Marbury $20,840,625 this year to not play. Donnie Walsh, if you’re listening, I will take a mere $500,000 not to play for the Knicks this year. In fact, I’ll agree not to do anything this year for $500,000! That is a savings to the Knicks of over twenty million dollars! Think of what you could do with an extra $20,340,625, Donnie. You could save up for LeBron James when he becomes a free agent. You could redesign the Knicks uniforms. You could give every season ticket holder a DVD highlight video of the franchise’s glory years. You could even sign a couple of free agent non players and have a whole team of people NOT playing for the Knicks. The possibilities are endless.

So, Donnie Walsh, you know where to find me. My agent is even waving his fee on this one. Please consider my offer to not play for the Knicks for $500,000.  You will find it will be money well spent.

Carry on, Citizens!