“Hold my hand.” ~Hootie and the Blowfish

“Just as soon as you’ve washed yours.” ~ Jeff

Hootie and the Blowfish wrote the quintessential hand holding song in the Mid 90′s. I’m sure if they were writing it today, they might want to change the lyrics. According to a University of Colorado study, women have more bacteria on their hands than men.

According to Noah Fierer, an assistant professor in Colorado’s department of ecology and evolutionary biology, “The sheer number of bacteria species detected on the hands of the study participants was a big surprise, and so was the greater diversity of bacteria we found on the hands of women.”

Other findings in the study:

• Women have less acidity in their hands than men.
• Women have more bacteria under their skin than men.
• The average hand has 150 types of bacteria.
• Less than 17% of the bacteria were common on both hands.

Truly the most disturbing part of the article was this quote from Rob Knight, co-author of the project who was asked if guys should worry about holding hands with girls: “I guess it depends on which girl.”

Dude!! I don’t need that kind of pressure! Dating is hard enough as it is without having to carry a black light with me just to see if I can hold hands! I really hope whichever candidate wins tomorrow has a plan to end funding for studies like this. I would prefer not to worry about this kind of stuff. It’s bad enough wondering whether or not your date is going to turn out to be Glenn Close!

Carry on, Citizens!