Dear Applicant:
Thank you for your recent application for credit from the United States of America. Your request for a loan was carefully considered, and we regret that we are unable to approve your application at this time, for the following reasons:

Your Income:
___x___ is below our minimum requirement.
___x___ is insufficient to sustain payments on the amount of credit requested
___x___ could not be verified.
Your Corporate Management:
___x___ is filled with greedy tools who have contributed to the demise of our economy.
___x___ couldn’t be trusted to run a roadside fruit stand.
Your Credit History:
______ of making payments on time was not satisfactory.
___x___ could not be verified.
Your Application:
______ lacks a sufficient number of credit references.
______ lacks acceptable types of credit references.
___x___ reveals that current obligations are excessive in relation to income.

Other: __x____ You want the average taxpayer to bail you out so you can continue to offer the “exclusive services” you describe in your commercials that under no conceivable circumstances would be offered to the average taxpayer.

The consumer-reporting agency contacted that provided information that influenced our decision in whole
or in part was (Equifax Credit  Information Services, Inc., P.O. Box 740241, Atlanta, GA 30374 (1-800-685-1111) .) The reporting agency is unable to supply specific reasons why we have denied credit to you. You do, however, have a right under the Fair Credit Reporting Act to know the information contained in your credit file. You also have a right to a free copy of your report from the reporting agency, if you request it no later than 60 days after you receive this notice. In addition, if you find that any information contained in the report you receive is inaccurate or incomplete, you have the right to dispute the matter with the reporting agency. Any questions regarding such information should be directed to Equifax.

If you have any questions regarding this letter, you should contact us at the Association of Taxpayers Who Are Sick of Government Bailouts (Taking out All Congressional Incumbents in 2010). We will refer your questions to our Indian call center manager “Bob” and he will engage you in a series of increasingly annoying transfers and restating of your information until you bludgeon yourself with the business end of your phone.

NOTICE: The federal Equal Credit Opportunity Act prohibits creditors from discriminating against credit
applicants on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, sex, marital status, age (provided the
applicant has the capacity to enter into a binding contract); because all or part of the applicant’s income
derives from any public assistance program; or because the applicant has in good faith exercised any
right under the Consumer Credit Protection Act. The federal agency that administers compliance with this
law concerning this creditor is (FDIC Regional Office).

Thank you for your interest in Taxpayer Money. Please don’t contact us again.

Sincerely,

The Citizens!

Carry on, Citizens!

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 13th, 2008 at 8:36 pm and is filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.