What’s in a Name?

13 October 2008 10 Comments

Why? That’s about all I can muster after this story broke. A North Carolina high school student has legally changed her name to cutoutdissection.com. It seems that the former Jennifer has issues with animal dissection in science class. I suppose I can respect that, but changing your name to a web address? Isn’t that a little extreme?

After thinking about the long-term ramifications of her decision, I’ve come up with some other domain names she should snap up quickly and redirect to herself:

IAmTotallyUnDateable.com

MyJobProspectsJustEvaporated.net

WhyDontIGetInvitedToParties.org

HaventLaughedInSixYears.com

IHopePetaHasAHealthPlan.org

Feel free to add some of your ideas!

Carry on, Citizens!

About The Author
Jeff Stanger is an author, talk show host, professional fundraiser, and the answer to several obscure trivia questions. He writes for food and occasionally for spite.

10 Comments »

Jason "Bnpositive" Bean said:

Nice! Good ideas for other domain names.

# 13 October 2008 at 10:10 pm

Jennifer Now Known as CutoutDissection.com said:

[...] just read a post over at my friend Jeff Stanger’s blog at Carry On Citizens about a girl in North Carolina that legally changed her name to [...]

# 13 October 2008 at 10:22 pm

annonymous said:

chubbyvegetarian.com

hopeidontgetdiabities.com/doginsuliniswrong.html

Mind you i have no problem with “chubby” people, but if you are overweight and vegetarian, to quote many a lolcat “you’re doing it wrong”.

And the insulin thing just pisses me off.

# 14 October 2008 at 4:49 pm

Jeff (author) said:

Anonymous,

That’s hilarious!!!

# 14 October 2008 at 5:09 pm

Brian said:

ThoseArentHemorrhoidsThatsMyHead.com

or

PacManJonesIsMyDaddy.com

# 14 October 2008 at 8:42 pm

George said:

It doesn’t seem any more silly than a city changing the name of its stadium to “Pepsi Arena” or something. (Except that it’s for a noble cause instead of wads of cash.) And Googling around it actually seems to have been pretty effective…

# 15 October 2008 at 4:58 am

Who Are You? | MetaFilter said:

[...] that distinction goes to a woman formerly know as Jennifer Thornburg. I am also not a Nugget. Some have not been kind. Maybe you want the play at home game. Previously. Previously. Previously. (you get the idea.) [...]

# 15 October 2008 at 5:28 am

Jeff (author) said:

George,

Where to begin?

1) I support plenty of noble causes without disrespecting my parents by changing my name to do so.

2) Go check out some stats on Aids in Africa, Human Trafficking in the U.S., climate change, and homelessness and then tell me if dissection is really the most pressing issue this young lady is going to face in her lifetime.

3) Perspective people, perspective!

4) Do you have any concept of how less employable you are with a url for a name?

# 15 October 2008 at 6:12 am

Jeff (author) said:

And one more thing: Selling the naming rights to an arena isn’t silly. Letting the team keep all the $ instead of investing it in education is silly.

# 15 October 2008 at 7:27 am