Mr. Whipple disappeared from American television decades ago. Folks remember him as the guy who told shoppers, “please don’t squeeze the Charmin.” Have you ever stared at your ceiling on a sleepless night and wondered what happened to Mr. Whipple? Me neither. However, I did happen to stumble upon his name in an article about NASA.

It seems Mr. Whipple has been masquerading as manager for the Hubble Telescope.  This probably explains why it hasn’t worked all that well. For the uninitiated, the Hubble Telescope is the NASA version of Windows Vista -a really cool idea that never seems to work that well. Just after being launched, a flaw in the mirror was discovered. Three repair missions later, it’s still acting up.

Maybe once the election is over, McCain or Obama will do something about the Mr. Whipple crisis. Maybe they will appoint someone more qualified to manage the Hubble Telescope. Maybe they will hire Subway Jared.

Carry on, Citizens!