Joe,

Although not expressly cited in the title, grammar also falls under the jurisdiction of the Minitry of Correcting Spelling Annoyances. Our department has been notified of your comment (see above). We are concerned by your use of “Lastly” to begin a sentence. Please be aware that in a sequential series of sentences (e.g. First, Second) it is appropriate to begin the final sentence with “Last”. We are also deeply troubled by the sentence fragments at the conclusion of your comment. As this is your first offense, no corrective action will be taken. Any future infractions will be met with severe penalties.

Thank you.

Sarah Tonin
Ministry of Correcting Spelling Annoyances
“We Correct Because We Care.”

But that said, Jeff is most certainly a stand-up guy and I have no doubts that he has his priorities straight. (He also has a sense of humor that seems to be lacking in others…)

Firstly, it is not appropriate to end a statement with a question mark? (See how ridiculous that is? And see how appropriate this is?)

Secondly, these baseball players make $2M a year they make a year per year, right? Is that paid bi-weekly every other week? Maybe some of their money could be taken away and given to deserving low- and moderate-income communities to help them become better board members, paramedics, and daycare workers. (SARCASM ALERT: Visit ACORN.ORG for more!)

Lastly, the fate of the NATION is at hand, but for you, wouldn’t it be more appropriate to say that the fate of the SOCIALIST REPUBLIC is at hand?

There’s still time to write-in Huckabee. At least he’s a fan of AMERICAN PASTTIMES.

Wow, where to begin. First, you need to relax. Take a deep breath. Exhale.

1) After 3 nights of little sleep, I didn’t realize I had hit publish before editing. I do know the difference between hear and here. I also know the difference between satire, sarcasm, and serious political commentary. Maybe you should look it up. Then you won’t make a fool out of yourself to the Citizens (the people who regularly read this and know that none of this is serious.)

2) Yes, I do know the fate of our nation is at hand. And it scares the hell out of me that knee jerk reactionists like yourself have the right to vote.

3) The typical baseball player gives more back to his community than the average Senator. Pick up a copy of the Chronicle on Philanthropy some time.

4) Seriously, dude I have some. I’ve raised over 12 million dollars in the past 4 years for domestic violence victims, homeless women and children, drug and alcohol addicts, and underprivileged children. It’s hard work with long hours and often little thanks. I think that gives me the right to blow off some steam and make people laugh once in a while.

That’s all I have to say. I’m sure the Citizens will chime in too.

Second, you do realize that the fate of our NATION is at hand?

Lastly, maybe you should focus your attention on the $2M a year baseball players make per year. Maybe some of that money could be helping the poor.

Seriously, dude. Priorities. Get some.