Obama’s Last Blasphemy
I am officially calling shenanigans on the Obama Campaign. I’m asking all baseball fans to unite to defeat the menace that is Barack Obama. I don’t care about his policies, his associations, or his complete lack of experience. What I do care about, and every American should join me in this, is his willingness to defame an American institution. Of course, I’m talking about the World Series.
Barack Obama has accumulated more campaign money than any other Presidential candidate in history. It’s obscene enough that this money isn’t going to agencies who could be helping the poor during this economic crisis, but he’s actually buying a half hour in prime time to talk (down) to the American people. And not just during any prime time -if the World Series goes 6 games, it will be delayed by Obama’s speech. They claim it will be delayed only 8 minutes, but it’s the principle not the time that offends me.
Don’t Americans deserve our World Series free from the relentless campaigning we’ve endured the past 2 years? Don’t we deserve a respite from politics? Don’t we deserve the right to complain about Tim McCarver over analyzing the game without first having to endure Obama’s interruption of the Fall Classic?
So, I’m asking you to protest Senator Obama’s interruption of the World Series. If the Series goes to game 6, turn the volume down until he’s done talking and post a comment on this website. Any comment, about any topic. I don’t care. Please tell all your friends to comment here as well. I will take all the comments and send them to Washington in order to make sure this never happens again in our lifetime. Do it for your children and your children’s children who deserve to see a World Series without politics!
Carry on, Citizens!
About The AuthorJeff Stanger is an author, talk show host, professional fundraiser, and the answer to several obscure trivia questions. He writes for food and occasionally for spite.
First, please use spell check and also learn the difference between hear and here.
Second, you do realize that the fate of our NATION is at hand?
Lastly, maybe you should focus your attention on the $2M a year baseball players make per year. Maybe some of that money could be helping the poor.
Seriously, dude. Priorities. Get some.
Joe,
Wow, where to begin. First, you need to relax. Take a deep breath. Exhale.
1) After 3 nights of little sleep, I didn’t realize I had hit publish before editing. I do know the difference between hear and here. I also know the difference between satire, sarcasm, and serious political commentary. Maybe you should look it up. Then you won’t make a fool out of yourself to the Citizens (the people who regularly read this and know that none of this is serious.)
2) Yes, I do know the fate of our nation is at hand. And it scares the hell out of me that knee jerk reactionists like yourself have the right to vote.
3) The typical baseball player gives more back to his community than the average Senator. Pick up a copy of the Chronicle on Philanthropy some time.
4) Seriously, dude I have some. I’ve raised over 12 million dollars in the past 4 years for domestic violence victims, homeless women and children, drug and alcohol addicts, and underprivileged children. It’s hard work with long hours and often little thanks. I think that gives me the right to blow off some steam and make people laugh once in a while.
That’s all I have to say. I’m sure the Citizens will chime in too.
Joe – as in plumber or Biden? Either way, gotta shake you down. And not on the principles of baseball, but on the power bestowed on me by the principals of grammar.
Firstly, it is not appropriate to end a statement with a question mark? (See how ridiculous that is? And see how appropriate this is?)
Secondly, these baseball players make $2M a year they make a year per year, right? Is that paid bi-weekly every other week? Maybe some of their money could be taken away and given to deserving low- and moderate-income communities to help them become better board members, paramedics, and daycare workers. (SARCASM ALERT: Visit ACORN.ORG for more!)
Lastly, the fate of the NATION is at hand, but for you, wouldn’t it be more appropriate to say that the fate of the SOCIALIST REPUBLIC is at hand?
There’s still time to write-in Huckabee. At least he’s a fan of AMERICAN PASTTIMES.
Joe – Seriously, dude. Sense of humor. Get one.
Hmmm. It’s a little testy in here. Poor Joe didn’t know what he was stepping in. Or is it “into?” I’d hate to be grammatically incorrect. Jeff please instruct me on the correct word choice.
But that said, Jeff is most certainly a stand-up guy and I have no doubts that he has his priorities straight. (He also has a sense of humor that seems to be lacking in others…)
P.S. Thanks, Jeff, for all your hard work!
(Too many commas?)
An important message from the Ministry of Correcting Spelling Annoyances:
Joe,
Although not expressly cited in the title, grammar also falls under the jurisdiction of the Minitry of Correcting Spelling Annoyances. Our department has been notified of your comment (see above). We are concerned by your use of “Lastly” to begin a sentence. Please be aware that in a sequential series of sentences (e.g. First, Second) it is appropriate to begin the final sentence with “Last”. We are also deeply troubled by the sentence fragments at the conclusion of your comment. As this is your first offense, no corrective action will be taken. Any future infractions will be met with severe penalties.
Thank you.
Sarah Tonin
Ministry of Correcting Spelling Annoyances
“We Correct Because We Care.”
Joe “The Baseball Hater”…I take it you don’t “get” satire and humor, now do you? And please don’t tell me that you’re making comments like that and seriously thinking about voting for Obama…man, I’m not even going to go there. Go spread your baseball hatred elsewhere and tell Obama to stop wasting money on such nonsense (not to mention advertising in video games)…more proof that Obama is a great steward of money.
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