(I took the day off yesterday in remembrance of those who lost their lives on 9/11.  Thanks for your patience.)

Remember the Waltons? They were the family role models in 1970′s TV.  Somehow, I don’t see these two stories taking place on the Waltons:

1) Mom arrested for posing as her daughter so she can be a cheerleader. Apparently, she didn’t have much of a childhood and tried to recapture it by going back to school.  This one will definitely be made into a Lifetime movie.

2) Man chases naked boyfriend of his daughter out of house. He heard some noise and found this kid naked in his daughter’s room. After hitting with a pipe, he chased him out of the house. Now, the dad is facing battery charges.  As long there are a half dozen parents on the jury, this guy walks.

3) Okay, this has nothing to do with family or the Waltons, but it’s still funny. Clown-ye West was at it again this week. Check out the video. My first act as Emperor will be to end this guy’s 15 minutes of fame. I promise to banish him to some remote island along with Kathy Griffin and the cast of the View.  That alone should get me elected.

Carry on, Citizens!