I thought the creepiest story of the day would be Michael Jackson’s 50th birthday. I was wrong. It seems there is a new contender. And, it involves humans being converted to diamonds.

Now, I saw the movie Soylent Green years ago (Charleton Heston overacting in the 70′s –good stuff). It’s loosely based on the 1966 novel Make Room! Make Room! by Harry Harrison. The movie is set in some depressing future where resources are depleted and people survive on rationed processed food chips or wafers. These include Soylent Red, Soylent Yellow, and the ever popular (and scarce) Soylent Green. Turns out, Soylent Green is people.

How does that relate to today’s creepy story?  Well, it turns out that a company in Switzerland is turning people into diamonds. (At least they’re being up front about it.) Algoranza will turn your deceased loved one into a diamond for the low price of $7,488. Those wacky Swiss.

I’m sad to say, it gets worse. Apparently there is an American firm offering similar services. Life Gem will make a diamond out of human hair or out of a deceased pet! This raises all sorts of issues. What if jewelers start to sell you diamonds without telling you they came from people or pets?  Is that really a diamond on your engagement ring or is it a road kill deer? Imagine going to pick out a ring and seeing four or five bald hippies leaving the store.  Hmm… on second thought, I see a business opportunity here.

Carry on, Citizens!