When Gods (or Goddesses) Retire
The Goddess of Nepal retired today. She is 11. I’m not sure what a goddess does during retirement. It’s not like she can be a typical kid like the rest of the 11 year olds. Maybe she can hang out with Brett Favre. He was the god of Green Bay Packer fans and he retired today as well.
Someone who didn’t retire today was Moses. He’s been retired from the prophet (and living) business for a long time. But, he made the news today. Apparently, a “researcher” (and I use that term as loosely as possible) is claiming that Moses was high when he ascended Mt. Sinai and heard God give the Ten Commandments. Right… I think I can say with a certain degree of confidence that hallucinogens don’t increase one’s morality. They do in fact, tend to loosen one’s morals. They also tend to dim your attitude towards hard labor, meaning a stoned Moses would have been hunting Fritos instead of chiseling 10 laws into a stone tablet.
The author claims to have taken some similar hallucinogen in the Amazon rain forest. Based on this stellar research he’s convinced Moses was high. Apparently, he never went to a Rolling Stones concert. I’ve been to two. Trust me, the second hand herb didn’t make me want to start a new religion. It made me want to go to Steak ‘n Shake.
Carry on, Citizens!
March 5th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
I must say, the following statements made me laugh out loud: “I think I can say with a certain degree of confidence that hallucinogens don’t increase one’s morality. They do in fact, tend to loosen one’s morals. They also tend to dim your attitude towards hard labor, meaning a stoned Moses would have been hunting Fritos instead of chiseling 10 laws into a stone tablet.”
As people go by my office, they must think I’m experimenting myself with hallucinogens because I’m laughing so much. Guess I shouldn’t read this stuff at work!
September 29th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
[...] post is a follow-up to our story from March 4, 2008. In that post, we reported on the retirement of Nepal’s Living Goddess (she was 11). [...]