Tonight the President will give the annual State of the Union address.  It’s you’re civic duty to watch.  You owe it to yourself and your fellow citizens to be informed.  (I almost typed that with a straight face.)

The fact is, you probably don’t care about the State of the Union.  You’re too concerned with the state of your favorite team or the new season of American Karaoke (Idol). It’s okay, I feel your indifference. That’s why I thought I would give you the microwave version of the State of the Union.  If you don’t have 2 hours to listen to George Bush, spend just a few minutes to read the rest of this blog!

Without further ado, we present the State of the Union, brought to you by Jeff Stanger and Nabisco (Yes, I’m a corporate whore.)

My fellow citizens, the State of the Union is rather yucky.  We are still in a war, a possible recession, and nobody seems to know whether to buy Blue Ray or that other option.

The economy is scary and there are lots of people without jobs, health care, wii’s, and/or a clue whether Roger Clemens really took steroids.  So, President Bush proposed a lot of take charge, can-do, reform/stay-the-course leadership initiatives –the results of which, he will be long out of office before we know.  Within minutes, Democrats in Congress charged him with either being stupid or the architect of an unconstitutional power grab, with spending too much or spending too little, and with having no clear vision or being a devious mastermind.  Republicans then charged the Democrats with being “partisan” and/or not having no real solutions. The also accused them of not bringing plastic forks to the annual Senate picnic.

I could tell you how the Democrats responded, but I turned the channel to Sports Center.

So, there you have it. The State of the Union is a scary place that you don’t want to venture into.  Best to stay here and read this blog daily.  We’re not “partisan” and we always remember the forks.

Carry on, Citizens!