Dylan and the Black Pearl
My car is named the Black Pearl. It’s named after this Black Pearl. I’ve named all my cars. My first car was a used ’78 Malibu. It was called the MaliVessel. After I had a fender-bender, it became the MaliWreck. Later as the engine started to go, it became the MaliCloud.
Then came the Tylenol with Tires. It was a white Oldsmobile Cutlass, hence the name. The Tylenol gave way to a silver Calais. I called it the OldsmoBuick. It was followed the Scarlett Cricket –a Pontiac that made chirping sounds.
That leaves us with the Pearl. I got it around the time of the second Pirates movie and thought it was a good name. Dylan likes it too. Dylan is also two. Dylan is the son of my friend Brian Groce. Dylan is the first word of the last four sentences.
Dylan loves the Pearl. Whenever I visit the Groce family, Dylan let’s everyone know the Pearl is in the driveway. As I come up the sidewalk, he is always peeking through the window and shouting “the Pearl, the Pearl.” Of course it sounds more like “a burl, a burl” but you get the point.
Anyway, post a comment and let me know what names you have given to your cars. Have a good weekend.
Carry on, Citizens!
About The AuthorJeff Stanger is an author, talk show host, professional fundraiser, and the answer to several obscure trivia questions. He writes for food and occasionally for spite.
My first car was a ’78 Delta. It was army green and looked like it had been through a war. It’s name was Sherman. (for those of you who don’t know, the M4 Sherman was the primary tank the US used in WWII) My second car was a ’91 Tempo named Bubbles. Then I had a ’96 Saturn named Lola. I haven’t named my ’96 Cougar. Maybe you could have a contest for me! Or I could name it the Dauntless and we could start a fleet. That would make you Commodore!
I was thinking about this a few days ago and realized that I don’t tend name my cars…probably because I don’t want to get too attached (for good reason). But I did affectionately refer to my parents’ ’87 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme as the “Crapmobile”.
My brother had a car everyone ELSE called “The turd”. He didn’t like that – but that is what it looked like.
I’ve had several cars in my life time. I started with a little red exploding Pinto. Then I moved up to a Mustang 2 – silver hatchback. Next I had a ’78 Delta 88 in banana yellow. All of those cars were repos that my Dad (a loan officer at the bank) found for us. I don’t think I really had a name for any of those cars. But then, we bought our first NEW vehicle – a 1986 Ford Aerostar Minivan. We called it Chester Copperbottom. Well, at least that’s the nicest thing I ever called it. Being a Christian woman, I won’t list some of the other colorful names that came out of my mouth at times. It required towing at least every six months, often stranding me and our four small children along the road somewhere. That LAST time it stranded us, I was taking a group of kids to YUTES (youth group), and it was making so much noise before it quit, people all over the place were stareing at us. Then it died, and I had to have the kids push it into a parking lot. I told them to get everything of value out of it and started praying that it would burst into flames right then and there.
My vehicles kept getting bigger each time that we acquired a new one, so the next one was dubbed “The Behemoth”. It was a full sized white Dodge Ram Van. Then I came back to the real world and got a Taurus. I loved that car. She was named Babe for the pig.
My current ride is a silver Chrysler Town and Country Minivan. Dylan has named it for me. It is “da ban, da van”. Works for me, and he’s always excited to see it pull up to his house.
To Dylan’s Mom: YES! I want to be referred to as Commodore!
To Matt: Are there any pictures of the “Turd?”
I’m thinking we should do a photo gallery of our colorfully named cars…
I would like to make a small correction to YaYa’s post. The Aerostar minivan was know as “Chester Copperpot” from Goonies (1985). My older brother actually named it. I current have a newer ride that is a Ford Explorer Sportrac. Yaya named it “Ox” because the paint color is Ox blood red. I’ve never named a car of my own – lame.
Ya Ya – I remember that mini van! Wow – haven’t we been friends for such a long time!!!!
My first car was a green grand torino with dual exhaust. I know you can’t really picture me in that car. It ran for like 10 minutes. I bought it from a guy that I didn’t know. The guy gave me my money back! It was really quite loud and one day, one the one day that it actually ran, the street caved in – in front of my apartment! Everyone blamed me. I don’t think I had it long enough to name it.
Then came my first yellow vw bug. The yellow vw I have now I don’t have a name for – except Buggy. Not very original, is it?
Any suggestions?
My first car was an ’84 Chevette that I named “Speed Racer”. (The speedometer went all the way up to 85mph!)
My current car is a ’95 Saturn SL-1, which I named “Phoebe”, after one of the moons of Saturn. (That moon is the furthest out, has an irregular shape, orbits at an angle, and spins backwards). 
I already have car names in mind for my future vehicle, if I’m able to get a VW Bug, like I want to. 
Other good ones: My grandpa’s girlfriend had a car named “Miss Daisy” (so she was driving Miss Daisy), and my sister’s friend had a car called Soul Man. Good car name.
Just to let you know, I renamed my car last night. Until the tensioner gets fixed, Phoebe will be known as:
“The Banshee”
You, too, may hear her shrieking cry as she flies down the street in the dark of night or bolt upright in the early morning hours at the terrifying sound of her approach/departure.
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