It’s official. Hillary is in. And it’s about freakin’ time. We haven’t seen this big of a “yeah, we already knew that” type of announcement since Pete Rose finally came clean. It’s amazing how stupid some high profile people think we are.

Anyway, now that Hillary can “officially” be labeled a candidate, the media will begin beating the “first woman president” horse until it dies and heads to the glue factory. Hey, why not, the media is nearly wetting themselves with giddiness at the prospect of having either the first black president (Obama), first Hispanic president (Bill Richardson) or the first woman president (Hillary).

Breaking News: If Bill Richardson is elected, NBC has announced that Horatio Sanz will play the President.
So that got me thinking this morning, “why can’t we have an entire field of firsts?” Why couldn’t we have congress pass into law a decree that everyone in the next race must be the first “something” to be President if elected?

I think it has great possibilities. Consider these examples:

Comedian Doug Stanhope (Who really is running as a Libertarian) could be the first former Man Show host to become President!
Rosie O’Donnell could be the first Lesbian/Woman/American Catfight Host. That’s a “First” triple play! Joe Lieberman tried to become the first Jewish President. But what if Paula Abdul ran? She could be the first Female/Jewish/Former Laker Girl/Catatonic American Idol Host. That’s a “First” to the Fourth Power Candidate!
Let’s not forget the world of sports, however. Barry Bonds could be the first Bobble Head President. Mike Tyson could be the first cannibal President. Tiger Woods, as far as we can tell, could be the first President to get paid to drive a Buick.

Anyway, I think this election is going to be fun. There are so many characters running that I don’t think we’ll have a shortage of things to poke fun at, even if Al Gore doesn’t run.

Carry on, Citizens!