Trolley Dodgers news has beaten the major networks and conducted an exclusive interview with Congressman Mark Foley! What’s next for the disgraced Congressman? We have the story.

TD: Rep. Foley, what do you plan to do now that your political career is over?

Foley: Well I would like to make the announcement right here that I’m going to become a rap artist.

TD: Err… did you say rap?

Foley: Yes. The rap world is looking for something fresh.

TD: How are you going to get any street cred as a rap artist?

Foley: I’ll be working with R. Kelly for my first album.

TD: R. Kelly?

Foley: Absolutely, I want to study this man up close. Hell, there’s way more evidence against him and yet Vibe, the American Music Awards, and MTV treat him like a God. Right now, I’m the devil and the only evidence is a few text messages. He’s on video tape for Pete’s sake and getting lifetime achievement awards. My peers aren’t lining up to give me awards!

TD: Only a few text messages? Dude, you’re as guilty as OJ.

Foley: Of course, but my point is so was this guy.

TD: So, it’s about learning from the master?

Foley: That’s right. I figure one album project with R (he let’s me call him his little “r”), and I’ll learn how to not only dodge the next round of accusations but wind up with a Grammy to boot.

TD: When did you first start admiring Kelly?

Foley: Most people believe it was when he released “Trapped in the Closet.” I did find it to be a metaphor for my life. But actually, I met him much earlier when he was a young mail stripper. It was actually me that gave him the idea to title Aaliyah’s album Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number. R thought it expressed his view of his 15 year old wife and as for me; well you know what I thought of those 15 year old pages.

TD: So what’s the first name of your first single?

Foley: I’m really excited to say that it’s called Text Appeal. Kelly and I are shooting the video at Disneyland.

TD: Please be kidding.

Foley: No, I’m not! It’s going to be that sort of playful sexy sensibility that Justin and Janet had at the Super Bowl. Only it will be R and I.

TD: Okay, I think I’m going to hurl. Somebody ask my producer if I can go back to sports coverage, because this guy is creeping me out!

Foley: Don’t be so closed minded. Roman Polanski is going to direct.

TD: That’s all for now folks. The earth is about to crash into the sun.

Carry on, Citizens!