Remembering the Geoff and Jeff Show
The Geoff and Jeff Show never aired in North America. Come to think of it, we weren?t allowed on television in the Western Hemisphere. Too bad. We had a brilliant concept that was way ahead of its time. Today, there are many imitators. The Mike and Mike show on ESPN radio, The Best Damn Sports Show on Fox, and the Sports Reporters are all pale imitators. The original, the funniest, and the one that never made it to the airwaves was the Geoff and Jeff Show. Of course our first show topic is probably what kept us off Bloomington Cable Access and all the major networks: What is and isn?t a sport? At the risk of setting off WW3, this is the first in a series of posts about what constitutes a sport and what so called sports are merely activities.
Today I will just post the criteria:
1. Teams must be involved
2. Must have defense
3. Officials must be in the field of play
4. There must be an odd number of participants (football – 11,
baseball-9, basketball-5)
5. Dick Button cannot be involved
6. Must be pointless
7. Must have multiple skills involved
8. No judging to determine outcome
9. The crowd cannot be forced to be quiet (Tennis, Golf)
10. Cannot simply be a mode of transportation (running, swimming,
skating, sailing, etc…)
About The AuthorJeff Stanger is an author, talk show host, professional fundraiser, and the answer to several obscure trivia questions. He writes for food and occasionally for spite.
What is a sport?
A sport is an abnormal variation in the character of an established variety. Sometimes a shoot will produce a totally different rose in regards to color and shape. Also a bush rose may send up a long tall cane with the same type roses on it and this becomes a climbing sport of this variety.
So sometimes hockey is a sport and sometimes it’s not all during the same game? [see #4]
#4 is flawed and must be thrown out. Deleted…
Dear Geoff,
Please convince your co-anchor, Jeff, to be a “sport” and reinstitute even numbered participants in your list of quantifiable sport criteria.
Chess and pairs skate dancing are, afterall, undeniable athletic activities.
Sincerely,
The Assiciation for the Ethical Treatment of Sports with Even Numbered Participants
How appropriate that you should post this criteria. Just today the Indy Star decided to waste valuable space on the front page of the Sports section (which is really the only section worth reading from front to back anymore) by talking about the growing fad of “Texas Hold Em”. As if playing cards is even a sport!
Although, it would fit into Jeff’s criteria via #4.
I check http://www.dictionary.com for definitions of sport. I list them below. While most of us think of #1 or #2 as sport, and some include #3, #4 fits in with us sarcastic types, and #5 was used in one of the above posted comments.
I would like to be the subject of #6, and Matt used #7 which is mostly unknown by the general public.
However, the most interesting one is #8, ESPECIALLY when you apply Jeff’s 10 required criteria!
Definition: Sport (sp?rt, sprt) – noun.
1. Physical activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively.
2. An activity involving physical exertion and skill that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often undertaken competitively.
3. An active pastime; recreation.
4. Mockery; jest, A joking mood or attitude: “She made the remark in sport.”
5. One known for the manner of one’s acceptance of rules, especially of a game, or of a difficult situation: “a poor sport”.
6. A person who lives a jolly, extravagant life.
7. Biology – An organism that shows a marked change from the normal type or parent stock, typically as a result of mutation.
8. Obsolete – Amorous dalliance; lovemaking.
Is there judging involved in [Mark's] #8 above? Judging of the “Thou shalt not…” variety?
#7 – ha, ha…jeff’s a mutant.
Sarah: Nobody can prove I’m a pod person.
Mark: Amorous dalliance? That would make a great name for a band!
Yes I am a real person. I have argued the fact that only four sports are in existence. I stand by my arguments. Plus, since Jeff and I made up the official rules (over hours of highly intellectual conversations at Southern Sporting Goods in Bloomington) we can’t be wrong. If you don’t like our rules, make your own. Of course, you will still be wrong.
Geoff has a very good grasp on the axiom: My opionions may have changed – but not the fact that I am right!
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