Fans of the Escape From… movie franchise will be glad to know that Kurt Russell has signed on to play Snake Plissken again in Escape From Detroit. This time around he will be helping to escort employees of the 4 remaining Starbuck’s out of the city. They will have to navigate through abandoned grocery stores, a gauntlet of bitter Kwame Kilpatrick supporters, and former Chrysler dealers who have resorted to cannibalism.
Russell was quoted as saying, “I had no plans for doing another Escape From, but I was struck by the realism of the script and thought this had more of a ’science fact’ ring to it than science fiction.”
Shooting will begin in a few weeks, just as soon as the Detroit police can clear away the bodies from the Stanley Cup aftermath.
Marlboro revealed their new ad campaign today in an effort to stay one step ahead of the government. Big Tobacco has always been more savvy than the car industry, and they show it again by incorporating Air Force One into their logo. Congress passed legislation giving the FDA control over tobacco today and the President is expected to sign it. No word yet on whether Michelle Obama, who has graced every U.S. magazine except Sports Illustrated three times since the inauguration, will appear in an ad.
Taking charge of the country’s largest auto maker is too big a deal not to visit in person. The President was so happy to own a 60% stake in GM that he had Air Force One do a barrel roll over the company’s headquarters. Later he unveiled plans for the new Commander-in-Chief Caddy. It’s green (of course), gives off very little emissions and runs on pixie dust and horse manure. Kind of like our economy.
Carry on, Citizens!
Thanks to Justin Bessler (again) for this week’s photo.
The first family visited Indy last week for the Indy 500. In a nod to the White House’s preference for suspected tax cheats, Helio Castroneves won this year’s race. While in town, the Obama’s slipped into Broadripple and chowed on tenderloins -a Hoosier favorite.
President Obama can’t be blamed for this one. Turns out Michelle was showing off for some of her friends back in Chi-town where they had one too many apple martinis and decided to stick it to Cardinals fans by flying through the Arch. They even had a “Go Cubs!” banner tied to the back but it fell off somewhere near Decatur, IL. The pilot might have been a little buzzed too, as evidenced by the landing gear still being down.
President Barack Obama took knocked off early one day this week and decided to catch a Yankee game and get an Air Force One photo op. According to the President, at the moment of this flyover “I was calling for a bunt. Maybe we’ll take over baseball when we’re done with the auto industry because I definately thought this was a bunt situation. What does Girardi know anyway?”
Carry on, Citizens!
NEWS: The Air Force One photo op will be a regular feature every Friday at COC. If you have a photo of Air Force One you would like to submit, please email us. If we use your picture, we will give you credit and send you a free autographed copy of Kansaska or Trolley Dodgers.
This week’s photo was created by Justin Bessler using a Mac, Photoshop, and grain alchohol. Thanks Justin!
Sara Stanger was born in Narol in 1912 to Yisrael and Dina. She was single. Prior to WWII she lived in Narol, Poland. During the war she was in Rawa Ruska, Poland. Sara perished in 1941 in Majdanek, Camp.
Some days, you just wish you were making these things up. And though I often do make things up, today’s post is all too true. Apparently, there are people out there who would pay $50 a plate for a gourmet bulls’ balls diner.
The event is called the Testical Festival and it happens annually in Oakdale, CA. It is put on by the local Rotary Club and it benefits the Oakland Cowboy Museum. It draws upwards of 450 people and raised $28,000 last year. That’s a lot of balls. And a lot of bitter bulls.
I’m not sure what is more surprising about this event. Is it that it even exists or that it’s not sponsored by NOW?
I’m sure that title caught your attention! One of my good friends told me that once. He’s very wise. What he meant was that no matter what you feature you put on a crappy product, what spin you put on bad legislation, or how you re-brand your dirt bag country, bad is still bad!
That’s why I laughed out loud when I read that Nigeria is “re-branding” to shed its corrupt image. Re-branding? Do you really think the slogan “Nigeria: Good People, Great Nation” is going to make me forget that your citizens scam Americans to the tune of $1 million per day? Let’s face it, President Umaru Yar’Adua, Dateline Undercover is like American Idol for your citizens!
Hey Nigeria, how about ruthlessly pursuing those d-bags that keep sending me emails about the $20 million locked up in some hoaky bureaucratic red tape but I can have 15% of the cash if I send them my social security number, bank account, and some of my DNA? Until then, we’ll stick with your old slogan: Nigeria: Posing as Somebody Else Since Email Was Invented!
Carry on, Citizens!
Bonus Material: Most commonly heard motivational taunt by coaches at Special Olympics practices this week: “Come on you guys, you’re playing like the Obama Administration!”
Marlboro revealed their new ad campaign today in an effort to stay one step ahead of the government. Big Tobacco has always been more savvy than the car industry, and they show it again by incorporating Air Force One into their logo. Congress passed legislation giving the FDA control over tobacco today and the President is expected to sign it. No word yet on whether Michelle Obama, who has graced every U.S. magazine except Sports Illustrated three times since the inauguration, will appear in an ad.
