If you haven’t yet decided on a Presidential candidate, I have a new option for you. If you have decided, but are experiencing buyers remorse, this candidate can help that too.  He’s a newcomer to the political scene. And quite frankly, we haven’t seen much of him on the national level since 1980. But, he has many new ideas, and truly rises above the current crop of hopefuls. Today, I give you General Zod.

Carry on, Citizens!

Popularity: 5% [?]

A scholarship offer for an eighth grader?  That’s what University of Kentucky head coach Billy Gillespie has apparently offered to Michael Avery of Lake Sherwood, California.  Eighth grade? Are you kidding me?  This kid hasn’t set foot in a high school and he’s already got a college basketball scholarship. In fact, his father admits that his son hasn’t even decided on which high school he will attend.  So, much for having a normal childhood…

Carry on, Citizens!

Popularity: 7% [?]

It could be worse. It could be a serial killer. That’s what folks in North Manchester, England must be thinking these days. You see, they have a serial bottom pincher on the loose. That last line does NOT contain a typo. I did say serial bottom pincher. Not much else is known about this case, as evident by the story here. But rest assured, we will be following this story very closely.

Carry on, Citizens!

Popularity: 9% [?]

Most of us have been dumped at some point in our lives. (For me, it’s enough points to form a connect-the-dot picture of Mt. Rushmore.) Many times it happens without warning and you’re not really sure why it happened. You think, “I wish I had someone to warn me when my girlfriend was about to rip out my heart and play kickball with it.”

Well, today that someone is me. And that girlfriend/boyfriend that is about to dump you is Hillary and Obama. Despite their delegate fed love affair with Indiana the past few weeks, at 6pm you’re going to get dumped. Think of it as the guy/girl who only dated you because your parents had Colts tickets. After the game, you got punted. And, that’s what is going to happen to Hoosiers tonight. We’ll get punted for other states with other delegates.

You see, the quirkiness of our primary system made Indiana relevant —for a while. Even without a horse in the race, staunch Republicans, Libertarians, and independents seemed to get a little intoxicated by the media attention.

But, don’t despair. Did you really want those two hanging around the state much longer anyway? I didn’t think so.

Carry on, Citizens!

Popularity: 12% [?]

It started 26 years ago. Julio was called up by the Phillies and saw action in 16 games. The year before, Reggie Jackson was the highest paid player in baseball and the average ticket price to a game was $4.50. EA sports was years away from being formed, so if you wanted to play a baseball video game, Atari was your only option.

And now, a quarter century plus 1 later, Julio Franco has retired. Consider that twelve of the current managers in baseball are younger than Julio. In 1982, the youngest player in the league was Edwin Nunez (19 yo). Nunez retired 14 years ago. Also making his debut that year was Tony Gwynn. Tony’s been retired for 7 years.

Julio became the oldest active position player in MLB history. At 49, some of us thought he would keep playing forever. Consider that the Tampa Bay Rays, celebrating their 10th anniversary, came into the league 16 years after Julio. Along the way, he has played for 8 MLB teams, 2 Japanese League teams, 1 Korean League team, 2 Mexican League teams, and one Dominican Winter league team.

During his 26 year odyssey, he was a 3 time All Star, won a batting title, and compiled over 4,200 hits combined over his career. Incidentally, only Ty Cobb and Pete Rose have accomplished that feat. So, hats off to Julio and to an amazing career that started the summer before I entered high school. Yikes! I’ve changed careers at least 3 or 4 times during that span. You just finished your first. Well played.

Carry on, Citizens!

For more on Julio’s career, check out this article on ESPN’s page 2.

Popularity: 13% [?]

Just when the economy and the election have nearly sucked the will to live out me, a story comes along that makes it all seem worthwhile.  This story was forwarded to me by Sarah Jenkins. It will make you feel good about humanity. It involves a home run, a knee injury, and 2 women who I would vote for if they were old enough to run for President. Please take the time to read this story.

Carry on, Citizens!

Popularity: 18% [?]

“…And when you speak of me, speak well.”

It’s been 20 years since those words were uttered by Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) in the movie Bull Durham. I thought you might to know some interesting tidbits about one of the funniest baseball movies of all time: Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 23% [?]

The captain of the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins was arrested this week for running down the street naked! Yes, he was intoxicated. No, this isn’t a new way to get more people to go to hockey games. All though, heaven knows they need some creative marketing.

Nathan Smith told the police he was acting on a bet. The story doesn’t say if he won. (What are they teaching in journalism schools these days? That was such an obvious question!)

Not lost on me was the location of the team: Scranton. Could this be part of an episode of The Office?

Carry on, Citizens!

Popularity: 24% [?]

They might be pollsters. Or, they might be part of the shadow government. It’s too close to call. Either way, they keep calling me and asking me questions. Things like, “who are you going to vote for?” and “are you going to vote in the primary?” Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 25% [?]

I love the line in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when the knight says, “you have chosen poorly.”  As the NFL draft looms tomorrow, I wish they had that sound byte ready to go for teams that make bad decisions. It will happen tomorrow. It’s the 10th anniversary of the greatest blunder of recent NFL draft history:  San Diego drafting Ryan Leaf.  Just think, many experts thought the Colts should have drafted him instead of Peyton Manning.  Bill Polian, you have chosen wisely!

Carry on, Citizens!

Popularity: 27% [?]